


Grace

by axton_loves_shipping



Series: Of Hunters and Grace [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Grace, Angst, Grace Splitting, M/M, Multi, Soul Bond, Soul Splitting, author needs a hug, bottom!Castiel, dirty sign language, top!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-11-18 07:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11286798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axton_loves_shipping/pseuds/axton_loves_shipping
Summary: Sam and Dean get plunged into peril once again as they take on their biggest threat yet: The Darkness. Needing all the help they can get, the brothers turn to fallen angel Castiel, King of Hell, Crowley, an unassuming God, his favorite son Lucifer, and an evil witch-mother Rowena. When a night of heavy drinking and some time in the Impala leads Dean to some regretful decisions, and Rowena and Sam find some hidden lore over the Darkness and angels, things go from bad to worse. Castiel is changing, and he might not be so lucky this time.Loosely based around Season 11.





	1. LORE

181255

Men of Letters

Winchester, H.

Project: CLASSIFIED

We may be on the brink of a new discovery. Catalogue to come soon. Research sending in with this telegraph. Please proceed with upmost caution. Spells attached should only be performed by Master III of Witchcraft members only.  
Men, I may have discovered a new species of angel.

REPORT #181255-083572

Project: CLASSIFIED

Historical Content and Research

Addition to ANGEL, Catalogue 13.

Angel reproduction.  
Angelic being reproduce with other angels to create new grace for the next generation of angels. Mentioned in the Bible, some angels come to Earth to reproduce, creating NEPHILIM (ref. Catalogue 45 of ANGEL). Nephilim have angelic grace and half a human soul, giving them the powers of an angel with human emotions. Angels may combine grace to create new strands of grace for future generations. I have witnessed a part of angelic reproduction that no man has seen in hundreds of thousands of years. The angel in question called it the splitting of grace. The angel, a woman, had fallen in love with another woman. Their bond created a rift in her grace, meant for creating a new angel. However, she needed another part of a soul to create the angel. She took part of her partners soul. A few minutes and a flash of white light came, the female angel died, but a newborn babe was left behind on her. This was no Nephilim. This was a human baby with a piece of angelic grace. No powers to be found off the baby. The birthing process killed the angel mother, the human mother left to care for the baby.

UPDATE  
After two weeks of keeping a close eye on the baby, no powers are to be found, the baby appears to be in perfect health. Angels have been visiting to take him away, new warding has been created by the Master III of Witchcraft members to protect mother and child. No sign of angel mother since death. Baby absorbed more grace than originally expected. More to reach soon.

UPDATE 2  
One month since the birth of baby Derek. No sign of angelic powers except for exceptional health. Mother and child still locked under warding until further notice. Demonic warding has been added to the collection of angel warding. Hell interested in angel born baby. Demons attempting experiments of their owns, but after further investigation, demons seem to die due to lack of emotional attachment.

FINAL UPDATE  
One year has passed. Angels have given up on taking the baby away due to lack of angelic powers. Mother and child will remain with demon warding for the rest of their lives. Baby is still in exceptional health. More experiments to come if volunteers are found.

181256

Men of Letters

Winchester, H.

Project: UNCLASSIFIED, DEREK THREDEL

Derek Thredel, a fifteen-month-old child born to an angel and a human, is living in perfect health currently under the roof of his human mother, Julie Thredel. Demonic warding surrounds the building and has been imbedded into their skin. Derek shows no signs of angelic powers except for perfect health and superb academic ability. Angelic birth mother, known as Marielle or Cadriel, died shortly after their two souls merged. No other reports made. Warding created by Master III of Witchcraft members to be updated soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Present Day

Dean groaned and looked to his arm where the Mark was fading with the crackle of lightning. He gasped in a breath when the burning sensation subsided. He saw the burns slowly fading and he looked at the hole in the roof, then down to his brother. He helped Sam to his feet and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you, brother.”

Sam just sighed in relief and patted his brother’s broad shoulders.

“Let’s get out of here.”

They pulled away and began to walk towards the door when another crack of lighting shook the little Mexican restaurant Dean had summoned Death at. Dean protectively grabbed Sam’s shirt, trying to cover the larger man with his body. They ran for the door, going outside in time to see huge plumes of black smoke breaking from the land, arching over the building, and gathering in the field adjacent to the restaurant. Sam tossed the keys at Dean and they ran. Once Dean got the Impala unlocked and running, he threw it into reverse and punched the gas. He turned the car around, and he popped it into drive. The car lurched forward but didn’t move. He opened his door to see a tire was stuck in a pothole in the parking lot. He closed his door and kept gunning the gas, trying to get out. Sam slapped Dean’s arm and pointed at the black mass growing in front of them.

“Dean!”

Dean looked up and saw the waves of air coming towards the car and he looked at Sam, them both sharing a scared look. The mass overtook the car, jolting them to the side. Sam’s head slammed against the window and he was knocked out.

~

Dean found himself out in the field, surrounded by the air. A woman stood with him, her back to him. He called out to her, and she turned around.

“I want to thank you for setting me free, Dean.”

A thin, pale face turned towards him. She was thin, almost sickly thin, her dress flowing effortlessly over her body. Her fingernails were painted a light gray, almost to match the surrounding air. She took a few steps towards him, lifting her hand to touch his face.

“Believe it or not, we’re bonded.”

She moved the strap of her dress to reveal the Mark of Cain on her shoulder.

“You will never hurt me. You will help me.”

She replaced the strap and dropped her hand from his face.

“Thank you.”

With flick of her wrist, Dean passed out.

~

Sam awoke to a sharp pain in his skull and no recollection of the past hour. He groaned and slowly sat up. He glanced to his side and noticed his brother was no longer in the car. Slowly opening the door, he glanced up at the sky to see blue, when just an hour before it had been littered with black and grey clouds. He looked around himself and started walking towards the field that he and Dean had seen the Darkness in.

~

Dean groaned softly and opened his eyes, his body in pain. He had seen her, and she thanked him for letting her out. He saw her, in the flesh. The Darkness. The end. He pushed himself up just as Sam reached him.

“Hey, Dean. You okay?”

Dean shrugged off the question.

“How did I even get here?”

It was Sam’s turn to shrug.

“I don’t know. One minute you’re in the car, the next minute you were gone. Then that storm hit.”

Dean stood up and brushed the dust off his jeans.

“She saved me.”

Sam tilted his head in confusion. Dean began to walk back to the Impala, Sam a half step behind him.

“What do you mean _she_?”

Dean spun around in his tracks, almost hitting Sam in the process.

“The Darkness is a _woman_. I saw _her._ _S_ _he_ was talking to me.”

Sam grabbed Dean’s shoulder to stop him from walking away.

“What did she say?”

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

“She thanked me, for freeing her.”

Sam’s expression dropped from curiosity to concern.

“No, Dean. You didn’t free her. I did.”

Dean looked down and nodded.

“Let’s just get out of here, okay?”

~~

This shed he was in wouldn’t last him for long, but it was safety. He didn’t want to hurt anybody, not even Crowley. But the spell, the curse, he was put under, gnawed at his mind, changing all rational thought into unprovoked rage. He tried to control himself, but he stabbed Crowley anyway. He knew he was still alive, which was fanning the flames of rage even more. He couldn’t help the anger, but he was trying his best to relax.

A branch cracked in the distance, and his head shot up immediately. He wanted to kill the thing making the noise, everything was setting off the curse. A little boy, no older than 11, walked into the shed with his shotgun. He gasped and pointed it at Castiel, who quickly pushed it out of his range. The warning shot went off, and a searing pain shot through his head at the noise.

“You… must… run. I don’t want… to hurt you.”

He rasped out the words before his anger took over. He ran out of the shed and down the open path, where the boy’s father and his brother were waiting with their guns. They shot after Castiel, who fled into the forest behind the farm shed. Thankfully, they didn’t chase him. Castiel ran until his anger was subdued from exhaustion, five miles away from the farm he was hiding in. He found a thick, shady tree to sit down and rest at. He lost track of time by counting pine needles on the ground, and he dozed off into a light nap.

~

Police sirens wailing in the air is what awoke him. He realized it was nighttime, but the blaring noise had stirred the curse. He got up, pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes to rub the sleep away. He patted his trench coat pockets for his phone, dialing the only number he knew by heart.

~

Driving in the Impala with his brother eased Dean’s worried nerves. The Darkness. The only thing they have ever dealt with this big was throwing Lucifer and Michael in the Cage, and that took a year of fighting and preparations with Castiel. Now it was Apocalypse Day part two, and Castiel was nowhere to be found. His phone ringing in his pocket brought him out of his daze.

“Cas, where the _hell_ are you?”

“Dean. Is it gone?”

He glanced at his brother, brow raised at the question.

“Cas, you okay? You don’t so-”

“Is. It. Gone?”

The sudden cut off made Dean jump slightly and he sighed.

“Yes, it’s gone.”

Castiel let out and audible sigh of relief.

“I have to go. You may not see much of me anymore. Goodbye, Dean.”

The line clicked before Dean could respond. Sam looked at his brother.

“So, is he good?”

Dean shook his head.

“We gotta find him.”

~

Castiel peaked from between the trees and saw the patrol cars full of park rangers and police officers. He moved away, to a small clearing, and he looked up to the sky.

“Brothers. Sisters. I know I have no right to ask of anything, I know I’ve done wrong. I’m sorry. I need help. Please.”

He looked down, hoping his prayer was heard. He began to walk towards the trees when the sudden rustling of wings stopped him. He turned around and let himself relax.

“Ephraim. Josiah. Thank you.”

His two brothers shared a look between themselves. Josiah stepped forward and covered Castiel’s face with a fabric bag.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly but surely getting into writing a lot more now. Expect longer chapters and more updates to some soon!

Complete and utter darkness is all he saw. Open eyes or closed, it didn’t matter. He was exhausted from trying to fight the curse. He had asked, hell, he had prayed for help, and this was what was offered to him. He knew his brothers would care for him. They had told him they were taking him to the new door of Heaven, and that he could be cured in Heaven. He wasn’t allowed to know the location, because of his time with Metatron.

He heard a door shut behind him and the hood was lifted.

“Thank you. You’re sure this is where the door is?”

Ephraim and Josiah shared a look. Josiah grabbed Castiel’s hands, still in angelic cuffs, and hooked him, his arms outstretched over his head. Castiel looked up, then back at his brothers.

“We weren’t ever going to Heaven, were we?”

Ephraim just smiled and pulled out his angel blade. A dull light glittered off the metal, almost taunting Castiel to fight.

“We just want some information.”

He stepped forward and pressed the blade against his exposed neck. A bead of blood slowly ran down the edge of the blade, the sharp edge digging into his skin.

“Metatron. Where is he?” Josiah demanded, a second blade at his neck.

“I… I don’t know,” Castiel replied in a hurried voice.

Josiah and Ephraim both pulled away, giving Castiel a moment to duck his head. Ephraim took the blade and made a sharp cut to his collarbone. He cried out in pain, trying to keep his breaths even. They were going to torture the information out of him, and he wasn’t willing to give in. The curse gnawed at him, telling him to fight back. Another quick cut to his back brought him back to reality.

“I’m going to repeat myself until you answer the question. If you don’t, I’ll just keep this up. And I’ve got all the time in the world, Castiel.”

Ephraim repeated Josiah’s question, anger filling out his expression. Castiel repeated his earlier answer, eliciting another cut to his body.

~

It seemed like an eternity to Castiel, when it had only lasted a few hours. Their cat and mouse game of questions and torture. Ephraim and Josiah weren’t easing up any, and Castiel’s voice was growing hoarse from the constant screams he couldn’t help but let out.

“Where is he?!” Josiah was nearly screaming the words at him when he carved another long cut into Castiel’s abdomen. A broken cry of pain hit the air as Castiel slumped down with his arms still holding him up.

“Mercy, brother, please!”

Ephraim was taken aback by the request.

“Mercy? Alright, I’ll show you mercy. You have some extra parts I think you could do without. You won’t die, of course, but it’ll be fun to watch you in pain. What should we start with? Eeny,” he pointed to one of Castiel’s arms. “Meeny,” he motioned to his second arm. “Miney,” he tapped Castiel’s nose. “Or moe,” he looked down and pointed towards Castiel’s crotch. The thought of having his genitalia cut off had him backing away the best he could.

A sudden rumbling at the door had Ephraim and Josiah stepping away from Castiel. The door burst open in a flurry of energy, sending loose papers and dust into the stale air of the warehouse. Even in Castiel’s dazed state, he could feel the grace radiating under her vessel. Hannah stepped into the room with authority. She, or _he_ , since her vessel was now male, stopped in front of Castiel.

“Ephraim, Josiah. Stop. This is not how we do things anymore.”

“Yeah, well who died and put you in charge?”

He tilted his head at Josiah.

“You were the ones who freely elected me to be your leader. I shall be the one who determines punishment and rite of passage.” He finally turned around to face Castiel. “Hello, Castiel.”

All Castiel could manage was a bleak, “Hannah,” in return.

Josiah rolled his eyes at the two and Ephraim twisted the blade in his hands.

“Step aside, Hannah. Let us finish what we started.”

Hannah raised his hand and the two boys were thrown against a wall. He helped Castiel down and into a chair, still in his handcuffs for their safety.

“I’m so sorry, Castiel. Heaven’s been a little… crazy since Metatron’s jailbreak. Do you know where he is? Time is of the essence.” He was gentle, caring to Castiel’s wounds while questioning him. Castiel was too exhausted from the torture to plead against Hannah tending his wounds. 

“Hannah, I don’t know. We made him human. He can’t get far. I don’t know where he is.”

Hannah simply nodded in response.

“What about the Winchesters? Where are they?”

Castiel sat back and looked at her, confused by the sudden shift of topic.

“I… I don’t know. I spoke with Dean earlier. I don’t know where they’re at.”

Hannah’s face dropped from calm to disappointed.

“Castiel, you must know.”

“I don’t.”

“Well think harder!”

Castiel noticed the sudden shift in his grace before the statement was made. This wasn’t his friend Hannah. This was a good little soldier Hannah, using him for information.

“Why do you want to know where they are? If you think I’d ever sell out my friends for some torture relief, then you are wrong. This was your play, wasn’t it? You’d show up like some hero and I’d give you whatever you want in return?” He looked up, his bloodshot eyes meeting her crystal blue, and he saw Ephraim behind her. “Ephraim, no!”

Hannah’s eyes softened, then burned brightly as the angel blade was plunged into his neck. He let out a scream before falling to the ground. Ephraim looked at him in disgust. Castiel could feel the rage burning through him, the curse being pushed back to the forefront of his mind. He broke free and fought against Ephraim, every man for himself. He pulled his blade from his pocket. Ephraim came from his side, his arm drawn back. A fast hit to his stomach sent him doubling over, and Castiel caught his arm, twisting it until he could feel the bones in his attacker’s arm cracking. He dropped his blade and the momentary weakness gave Castiel the advantage to stab him, another blinding blue light filling the room. Josiah was quick to attack as Ephraim’s lifeless body fell to the floor. Josiah got a few kicks to Castiel’s abdomen in before the angel recovered. He threw himself against his brother, knocking him back and against the wall. He stabbed his brother through the heart, a quick flash of light entering the building one last time. He slumped to the floor. Castiel dropped his blade and staggered out of the building.

~

It was a long walk, but he made it to the bunker. The place still reeked of gasoline and blood, the boys haven’t having time to clean up since the Styne massacre. He looked around the pile of books and personal belongings, and he found the book Dean had stabbed the night they had fought. A lore book on angels, one of the original Men of Letters’ catalogues. He reached down to pick it up when it hit him.

It started out as what sounded like Angel Radio, and he grabbed his head. The noise was much louder than that, and it hurt his head at a subatomic level. He fell to his knees. His vision flickered in and out of what was in front of him and what was in his head. The images of stabbing Crowley, murdering his brothers after Hannah’s murder, all memories of the past week’s events. Images of Dean, covered in blood, started to flood his mind. Dean, begging Castiel to spare him. Sam and Dean, both on the floor in pools of their own blood, Castiel holding the Angel Blade.

He collapsed onto the floor, holding his head.

Hannah, Ephraim, Josiah, Dean, Sam. Hannah, Ephraim, Josiah, Dean, Sam. Hannah, Ephraim, Josiah, Dean, Sam. Hannah, Ephraim, Josiah, _Dean_ , Sam. Dean. Sam. Dead. Dean. Dead. Dead. _Dead_.

He gasped a breath in and looked around himself. His vision was blurry as it slowly came back to him. He could hear a gun cocking, and he strained to get a better view over the pile. Dean was the first one to see him, and he put his gun away. Castiel’s expression moved from worry to sincerity.

“Help me.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean and Sam helped Castiel into a chair. Sam patted his shoulder and nodded to Dean.

“Let me get you a drink, alright?”

Sam walked out of the room, leaving Dean alone with Castiel. Castiel put his head in his hands, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. Dean sat down in the chair across from Castiel and he sighed, nursing an empty scotch glass in his hands. When Castiel had looked up, he noticed Dean was still looking at him.

“What?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, Cas. It’s just good to have you back.”

Castiel looked down and cracked a small smile, noting the sound of appreciation in his voice.

“I’m still cursed.”

Dean’s lips quirked up as if to say something, then Sam walked back in with a cup of steaming coffee for Castiel and a cold beer for him and Dean. He also had brought in a blanket for Castiel, setting it on his shoulders.

“So, what do we know about the Darkness?”

He pulled out his laptop and looked at Castiel expectantly. It took a second for Castiel to recognize Sam was talking to him.

“She’s been locked away since the dawn of time. The Mark of Cain was used as both lock and key to hold her. Lock because she’s bound to the Mark, key because the only way to free her is to remove the Mark. I know it took a lot of power to put her away, mainly because there was a large recruitment arrangement to make disposable soldiers to throw her way to make her back down. The main fight involved three archangels, Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer, and God himself.

“She didn’t go down easily. Many died during the process, many more were wounded. I was commanding a garrison, and that garrison was murdered, except for a few of us. We were… I don’t know, saved. After which she was finally locked away. It took the lives of millions once she was locked down. I remember the battlefields were still being cleaned millennia after the war.” He took a deep breath and sipped from the steaming mug in his hands. “This was all before God had Metatron write his tablets, there is no lore, just the veteran angels and demons who faced her.”

Sam looked up and raised his eyebrow at Castiel.

“You’re saying the Men of Letters don’t have anything on this?”

“I’m saying you can’t research this in a library or in any of these archives. I’m saying that we need to find God and three archangels as fast as we can.”

Castiel turned to set his cup down when he dropped it. The pain was immense, making him grab his head with his hands. His vision went dark and he dropped to the floor, writhing in pain. The visions he had earlier were coming back.

 

~

 

Dean had no idea what was going on when the mug dropped. Cas was talking one minute and the next he was on the floor, having a seizure. Sam and Dean both dropped to the ground and tried to assist Cas the best they could. Dean looked at Sam, the list of what to do and what not to do for first aid going through his mind. Sam pushed Cas’s chair back so he didn’t hit himself against it.

For what only lasted seconds felt like hours. His twitching and convulsing had slowed down, then stopped. He regained consciousness a minute later, groaning softly. Dean’s face softened.

“Hey, Cas. Do you know where you are? What year is it?”

Castiel gave him a confused look.

“Earth. Many years after the Creation.”

“Yeah, he’s back.”

 

~ ~

 

Lifting the curse off Castiel turned out to be a trip Dean didn’t want to take. Memories of beating Castiel kept coming back strong, and he couldn’t help but be eaten with guilt. He had never apologized and he kept avoiding the conversation whenever the event was mentioned. But now, he knew this was karma coming to bite him in the ass. This is what he deserved.

Another punch to his face shook him out of his thoughts. Castiel’s grip on his shirt was tight, almost desperate as he threw another punch to Dean’s face. The curse had dug deeper, his bloodshot eyes full of crazed rage. Dean let out a groan as Cas’s fist collided with his stomach, the wind getting knocked out of him. He looked up to see Castiel’s fist inches from his face again. He looked over to see Rowena at gunpoint with Sam behind her.

“Need I remind you these are _witch_ killing bullets? Finish the spell!”

The fiery head of hair bounced as she huffed and finished the spell.

Castiel fell to the ground in pain, like he had during his seizure. Rowena shouted a few words before leaving the three in the storage area.

Castiel awoke a few minutes later, Dean nursing his head in his hands.

 

~

 

“Let me heal that, Dean.”

“No, no, it’s okay, Cas. I deserved it.”

The three were sat at the table in the war room, Dean pressing a frozen steak to his split lip.

“I still want to apologize.”

“Cas, save it, alright? We’ve been through enough.”

He nodded softly and sat back as Sam brought them beers. He sat at the head of the table while watching the two men. Castiel sipped at his beer while Dean pressed the cold can to his head.

 

~

 

Going into the spare bedroom they kept dressed for Castiel, he felt an odd sense of ease he hadn’t felt in a while. The boys had said their goodnights on a good foot for once and it made Castiel feel good. For once everything seemed to fall in place.

Their night was quiet, and that was enough for them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Building our Destiel foundation...

With the codex in her hand, she moved towards the table in the war room, brushing her hand along the polished mahogany. She set the codex down and turned towards Sam, who was currently pulling books from the shelf.

“I have to say: these Men of Letters did have fine taste in furnishings.” She sat down in one of the chairs and proceeded to take a book from the pre-biblical pile. Sam took the book back.

“Rowena, we don’t have time to leisure with the books, okay?” He set the book back down and turned back towards the shelf, picking through the books. He had three separate piles: Angels, Demons, Pre-Biblical knowledge. They needed new information about the Darkness, and Castiel and Dean weren’t helping. Last he knew of their whereabouts, Dean was trying to get Castiel laid at a new bar down in Manhattan. He sighed and placed the last book down on the table.

“Well, this is everything. Pick a pile, start reading.” Rowena scoffed at Sam and sipped her tea. She grabbed the top book from the Angel pile and sighed quietly.

“Samuel, how much of this is about the Darkness?” She seemed hesitant to even open the thick book, turning the pages with a delicate finger.

“I have no idea. Let’s find out, okay? I don’t like it any more than you do. We just need to figure something out before any more people die.” He grabbed a book from the Demon pile, deciding to leave the Pre-Biblical items for Castiel.

~

The impala sat in the parking lot of the new bar, Sandy’s, and Dean awoke with a groan, holding his head. He sat up and reached into the glovebox, fumbling around for some aspirin. He tossed two into his mouth and swallowed dry. He looked down, now noticing he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He found it tossed to the side and he picked it up, giving it a quick sniff. He gagged but then smirked, thinking about how pissed off Sam was going to be. He reeked of sex, sweat, and cologne, but he couldn’t remember who he slept with or how drunk he was at the time. He propped himself up on the door and he wiped his hand over his face. Glancing into the floorboard of the passenger’s side, he recognized the item of clothing thrown haphazardly into the area. A beige trench coat sat, half folded, half strewn on the seat and ground. The blue and white tie sat over the steering wheel, and he took it into his hands, feeling the silk fabric.

A heavy breath and some rustling in the backseat brought Dean out of his thoughts. He grabbed his gun from underneath the seat and cocked it, turning to look over his seat. He dropped the gun once he saw Castiel. Bundled up in just a pair of boxers and his coat jacket, he looked damn innocent. His hair was a mess, and his cheeks were tinged pink, swollen lips parted and letting out soft breaths. His face was completely lax, almost childlike as he slept curled in the seat. Dean looked around Castiel. He was wearing boxers, but Dean was naked from the waist down. His jeans and boots were under Castiel’s seat, but when he moved the trench coat, he found Castiel’s slacks and socks. His headache throbbed the more he tried to remember what happened.

~

After an hour of searching through one of the books about angels, Rowena came to a sub note.

“Samuel, what information do you have about Case 181225?” Sam looked up from his book and went to dig through one of the case boxes marked with 1812. He pulled out a rather thin file with two pieces of paper inside of it.

“We don’t seem to have much. Angelic reproduction?” Rowena nodded and sat the book down.

“A case. Derek Thredel? Baby born to an angel and human. I’ve heard the name a few times, never knew who he was.”

Sam pulled up a piece of paper to look and began to read. The two pages didn’t go in depth, nor did it mention the darkness, but it did mention an archangel, Cadriel.

“Yeah. A Nephilim without powers. I didn’t know that was possible. They called it soul splitting. The remnants of angelic grace, or the benefits of grace, and a human soul. A part of a human soul. Wow. They didn’t update too much on him, but it seems like the angel who had the baby was killed. I guess it doesn’t happen often. But that amount of energy must’ve been crazy!” Rowena gave him a look of concern and Sam’s excitement faded. He handed her the file and she gave it a glance over.

“If he’s still alive, that power in his soul could be used to defeat Amara.” Sam nodded and made his way to his laptop.

“Let’s find him.”

~

Dean tried to collect the rest of his clothing once his head had stopped throbbing. He pulled his jeans back to his seat. He tried being quiet so he didn’t wake up Castiel, but an accidental brush of his hand over his knee made Castiel stir. He blinked his bleary eyes and sat up, finally revealing where Dean’s boxers had gone. A soft smile easily rested on Castiel’s lips and he looked at Dean.

“Good morning.” Before Dean could process what was going on, Castiel had leaned in and caught Dean’s lips in a quick kiss. It was hesitant and slow, but Dean was scrambling back and pushing Castiel back in a second.

“Cas, what the hell?” He wiped at his mouth and Castiel looked hurt, his pink cheeks darkening.

“Did last night change your mind?” Dean was taken aback by his words and his tone.

“Last night? Nah, I mean, getting laid was amazing. I’m proud of you for losing it. You remember her name?” Castiel looked up in confusion now, the sleep in his eyes now clearing.

“Dean, _we_ had intercourse last night. Don’t you remember?”

Now Dean was choking on his own spit. Cas had to be fucking with him. He had to be.

“Yeah, and I’m Bruce Lee. C’mon, Cas. What was her name?” Castiel looked seriously hurt now.

“Dean, we had sex last night.” His insistence made Dean realize he really wasn’t joking. He bit his lip and grabbed his boxers.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

He slid his clothes on and clambered out of the car. He made it ten feet before he doubled over and retched into the trashcan outside the bar. The bile and alcohol burned his throat and tears sprung to his eyes. He spit and wiped his mouth his sleeve. He couldn’t believe he couldn’t remember. He had slept with Castiel, and he didn’t remember. His throat burned and he retched again, groaning once the wave of nausea passed over him.

He walked back to the car, Castiel collecting himself and pulling his clothes back on.

“God, how much did we drink last night?” He sat back in the driver’s seat.

“I had two beers. You had a beer and a lot of shots. I stopped counting after five.”

~

“His death was ruled a suicide, but his eyes were found burnt out. We thinking angel murder?”

“I suppose, the angels could’ve caught up to him and believed him to be a Nephilim. The warding is consistent with the Book of the Damned. Where was he buried?” Sam closed his laptop and shook his head.

“Cremated and dumped in the Atlantic Ocean.”

“So, we have no leads?”

“Let’s wait until Cas and Dean get back from their little excursion.”

~

They were on the road after Castiel made sure Dean wasn’t having alcohol poisoning. The ride back to the bunker was full of awkward silence. Dean wasn’t sure on how to approach the subject, and Castiel was thinking about how their night could’ve been different. He reached to turn on the music as Dean did, accidentally brushing his fingers against Dean’s hand. Dean dropped his hand as Castiel did. Neither one wanted to start the conversation, so they sat in silence. They had an hour ride ahead of them, and Dean was in a hurry to get home. Castiel finally decided to pick the conversation up after ten minutes of silence.

“Dean, are you-”

“Leave it, Cas.”

“I need to know if you regret last night.”

Dean closed his eyes for a moment, “I can’t regret what I can’t remember.”

“Dean.”

“Cas, leave it. I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret.”

They sat in silence again, and Cas squirmed around in his seat, trying to get comfortable. When he saw a gas station ahead, he grabbed Dean’s arm hard, scaring Dean.

“Pull over.”

“Cas, can’t it-”

“Pull over, now.”

Dean pulled into the gas station, and Castiel made his way to the bathroom. Dean stayed in the car at first, but then went to the door, knocking quickly. He could hear Castiel retching and coughing, which wasn’t normal for the angel.

“Cas, buddy, you good?” Another cough followed by a flush could be heard and he was at the door, wiping his mouth with a paper towel.

“I-I don’t know what came over me.” He was a bit woozy on his feet and he leaned heavily on the doorframe.

~

Rowena looked at the wall for a clock, and she couldn’t find one. “Do these Men of Letters not keep time?” Sam was looking at his phone and he just shrugged.

“Could just be caught up in traffic.” The door slammed open and Dean and Castiel came in, Castiel carrying some groceries in a bag behind Dean. “Finally, what’d you find out?”

Castiel looked at Rowena suspiciously.

“Hedonism is complicated.”

He set the bag down and went to his room, leaving Sam, Dean, and Rowena looking at each other in confusion.


	6. Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set before Dean wakes up in the Impala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains smut. I've never written smut, so I hope I got it right :)

The drive to Sandy’s was a nice one, covered with Castiel’s favorite views of the lush forestry in Kansas. It was meant to be an outing, a small treat for Cas and Dean after working a case where it was a little too close for comfort. It was a relaxing day meant just for Castiel. They had never given much attention for appreciation, even though the words were often said. Dean agreed to play a selection of music Castiel wanted to listen to, and even gave him a small token into Dean’s world: a mixtape with a quick scrawling of ‘Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx’ on the cover. Castiel had been a bit confused over the functioning of the gift, but when Dean handed him his old Walkman, and even offered to play it on the way to their destination, he picked up on some significance to the gift.

Even if the ride lasted a little over an hour, it was barely hitting dusk when they arrived. The sky was tinged with the pinks and greys of the evening sky, and Castiel ventured towards the back of the building. The trees were parted just slightly, and he stood to appreciate its glory. Dean came around to find him, but the sight he came to took his breath away.

Castiel was facing the break in the trees, and the light made him look both soft and powerful. Soft, because his eyes were bright with wonder and amazement, his hands at his side, his right still clutching the mixtape Dean had given him. Powerful, because this is what his Father had created, this was the prime example of beauty which he hadn’t been able to fully appreciate, and he could see the shadows of Castiel’s healing wings against the cracking paint of the backside of the building. He was stretching his wings out, so enveloped with the warmth of the last light of the day. As the sun slowly set, Dean found himself walking out to Castiel and standing next to him, gazing at the blaring oranges and purples of the night dawning from the night. He felt a soft flurry of wind and when he realized there were invisible feathers ghosting over his bare arm, he knew he was safe. Castiel had wanted this, he wanted to protect Dean. He wanted to appreciate Earth with him.

They waited until the sun was securely hidden behind the horizon before making their way into the bar, Dean intent with his mission on getting Castiel laid. Walking into the bar, he noticed the familiar atmosphere. The smell of good burgers and craft brews hit his nose immediately and he inhaled deeply. He moved towards the bar and sat down with Castiel on the stools. Pulling his wallet out, he grabbed a small wad of cash and started flipping through twenties and singles. He handed Castiel five twenties and a wad of singles, who took the money with confusion.

“Alright, Cas. This should last you an hour. You find yourself a nice lady and you give her some singles. If she asks you for a drink, you buy her as many as you want, but don’t forget to drink, okay? If she says to go in the bathroom, you better lock the door. Have at it.” He gave him a swift pat on the back and sent him on his way. Dean, however, stayed where he was and turned his focus to a bubbly brunette who was serving alcohol.

Castiel glanced down at the money in his hands and then back towards Dean, who was already deep in conversation with the bartender. He turned around and stood face to face with another short haired brunette. Her face was both taught with surprise but also intrigue. She looked him up and down, and he noticed she was a few inches shorter than him. He shoved the cash into his pocket and gave this woman a small smile. She returned his smile easily.

“Hey there, handsome. Name’s Jody. What about you?” She stuck her hand out and he shook her hand, his body relaxing at her introduction. Her brown eyes seemed to glitter with unabashed excitement.

“Castiel.”

“Wow. Angelic. I like it. Come on, let’s talk. It’s not often I get to see a new face.” She held onto his hand and pulled him towards a booth, which he obliged. They sat together and she bought the first round of beer. He was easing his way into their introduction. His brow furrowed in confusion to Dean’s instructions, because even though _she_ had come to _him_ , she was still buying the alcohol. He handed her the wad of singles with an outstretched hand and she looked offended. He quickly tried to defend his actions.

“My friend said if I met a woman to give her the money.” Jody quirked a brow up.

“Really now? Honey, I’m no stripper and I don’t do prostitution. Keep it. If I need cash for booze, I’ll ask. I just want to talk.”

Castiel put the money away as two bottles were set in front of them, and Jody picked up their conversation about the 1950’s art exhibit downtown.

Dean had finally picked up on the bartender and he was ecstatic to finally be in the same game as Castiel, who was deep in conversation. He finished off his first beer and was soon knocking back shots with the woman behind the bar, who he learned was named Alex. He finished off the shots she offered him before getting up and thanking her, offering her a dance down at the floor. She politely declined, and he nodded. He handed her a twenty, winked, and was on his way by himself. He was nowhere near tipsy or even buzzed, but the alcohol he had consumed was making him feel warm around the edges. He found another woman to dance with, and he danced with her for a few songs before she dragged him to the bar and ordered him two more shots.

Castiel had nearly finished his conversation with Jody when she caught him staring over at Dean, who was throwing his head back and grinning widely. Alex had said something to Dean and the blonde woman and the reaction was the purest thing Castiel had seen in a long time. All the worry, all the anger, all the restlessness was gone from his face, and it left him looking young. Jody snapped her fingers to bring Castiel back, and she patted his hand.

“Word of advice, sweetie. You wanna pick someone up at a bar, buy them a shot. You want them to love you? Buy them food. You are a sweet man, and I think your friend would appreciate the gesture.” Jody had a point, and his worry over Dean’s wellbeing was starting to become a forefront of his thoughts. He still handed her money for the beer and he thanked her for the conversation. He adjusted himself and began to walk towards Dean.

Dean didn’t know it was Castiel behind him until he ran into him, dropping his drink in the process.

“Whoa! Sorry, Cas. You scared me.” Dean grabbed a napkin for the wet spot on his coat, and Castiel raised his hand to clean it up.

“No worries. Let me replace your drink.” He turned to Alex, handed her a twenty, and then asked for whatever Dean was drinking. He turned back to Dean. “Are you hungry?” Dean’s eyes widened and nodded.

“Yeah. Starving.” His voice came out soft, almost hesitant, and Castiel ordered him a cheeseburger. They sat back at the bar again, and this time Dean was relaxed. The shots were starting to make him lax, and he found himself easing with Castiel.

“You come here often, angel?”

“Dean, you brought me here.”

“I did? I’ve got good taste, right?”

“Shut up and eat.”

A drink was set in front of the both of them and Dean took a hesitant sip, his face scrunching up and handing it off to Castiel, who took a drink. A soft burn in the back of his throat made him cough, and he set the glass back down.

~

Leaning against the bar was something he did easily, so when Castiel had decided to ask Jody to dance, he took up the position. He watched as he moved awkwardly to the rock music with Jody, who was losing herself to the beat. Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. He was loose now, after having the hardest rum and coke he had ever tasted in his life. He did agree, however, that he did have the best tasting burger of his life.

Castiel waved Jody goodbye once the song was over, and Dean pushed himself off the counter, moving towards Castiel with intent. He didn’t know what kind of intent, but it was his drunk motivation that was keeping him steady.

Dean was nose to nose with Castiel, his hands gripping his shoulder, fingers dug into the fabric of his overcoat. Castiel’s eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes, unsure of how or what to do in this position. Dean let out a soft breath, and spoke the last three words Castiel could imagine coming out of Dean’s mouth: “Just kiss me.”

Dean made the move first, leaning down to capture Castiel’s lips with his own, and he gently pushed on. It was feather light, but once Castiel understood what his intent was, he pushed back, grabbing Dean’s face and cupping his cheeks lightly. He kissed back, lips moving drunkenly in sync, no one making a first move.

They pulled away and Dean dragged him out of the bar, towards the parking lot, and he shoved Castiel against the door, kissing him again, harder this time, almost desperate. He forced his tongue past his parted lips, and his skin erupted in goosebumps. The taste of Castiel, of honey, cinnamon, and pure Castiel is what Dean had been craving. Castiel didn’t understand what to do, so when he finally had a chance to push through and his tongue entered Dean’s mouth, he let out an involuntary moan. Dean had a completely different taste, coffee and a hint of him was all he needed. He pushed back, opened the door, and they both fell into the Impala.

Dean slammed the door shut behind him, and he pulled Castiel’s coat off, tossing it to the front seat. He pulled him back towards himself, connecting their lips once again. His hands couldn’t stop roaming up and down the angel’s body, mapping out every curve through his clothing. He pulled away enough to catch his breath, and Castiel was left bleary eyed and confused.

“Your pants. Off.”

A simple command really, but he was more than happy to oblige. The angel undid his belt and kicked off his shoes. Dean grabbed the waistband of his slacks and pulled them off in a fluid motion, dropping them off the seat. The angel was left in his dress shirt and boxers, while Dean was still fully clothed. The sight of the outline of Castiel’s semi hard cock was enough to make him drool, so once his boots were unlaced and kicked off, he leaned forward and licked a soft stripe over the fabric of his boxers. The angel shuddered and closed his eyes, eliciting a soft ‘Dean’ in return. Dean pulled his shirt off and helped Castiel out of his. The contours of Castiel’s toned body slowly came into sight as the crisp shirt was tossed to the side, and he had never felt more naked than ever. Here he was, an Angel of the Lord, clad in only his boxers, in front of Michael’s true vessel.

Dean picked up on the awkwardness of the situation and he kicked off his jeans, his cock straining against the taught fabric of his own briefs. Castiel brought a hand up to touch Dean, who gently laid his hand against the open palm and he laced his fingers with his angel’s, laying it back on the leather of the seat. Castiel was under him, and it’s all he needed. A soft peck on the lips and their hands still together, he moved his free hand to palm at Castiel’s erection, eliciting a soft sigh from the angel. He had known about sex, he had known about the different types of sex. But being underneath the man he gave his life to, experiencing these things for the first time since a Reaper attempted to murder him after intercourse, this was different. He felt like his skin was on fire, his head was spinning from the alcohol on Dean’s breath and the weight of Dean’s body on his thighs. He was in bliss with Dean just laying a hand over his cock, and he didn’t realize he was leaking until dean brought his hand up to lick off the wet spot on him. He placed two fingers underneath his waistband and pulled his boxers down, exposing his swollen and leaking head. He dipped his finger into the bead of precome on his belly and he brought his finger to his lips, and Dad damn it, he watched as Dean’s pouty lips wrapped around the digit, sucking and closing his eyes.

Castiel could’ve cum right then and there. How filthy the scene was before him, he took time to appreciate the way Dean looked. He shifted and Dean was pulling his boxers off the rest of the way, leaving Castiel stark naked and vulnerable. He marveled at the miles of tanned skin before him, and he set his hands on his hips, thumbing at the protruding bone, which sent shivers through Castiel’s body. Then he was ducking his head down and licking a fat stripe up his cock.

Cas lost it.

It was the combination of sights and sensations that had pushed him, and who could blame him? He had never been on the receiving end of things, and the suddenness wasn’t helping. His orgasm rolled through him with waves of harsh pleasure, making him squirm underneath Dean. Long, hot streaks of cum covered his belly and Dean’s boxers. He let out a throaty moan, his nails digging into the leather. He panted hard once he came down from his high, and he watched as Dean leaned down to lick up the mess on his stomach. He pulled back and licked his lips, soon pulling off his own boxers. He took a few quick strokes on Castiel’s limp member, peaking him back to semi hard again. Once he was satisfied, he sat back, eyes trained of Castiel’s flushed skin.

“Are you okay with this?”

Dean didn’t need to explain any more. Castiel nodded and laid his head back against the other door.

“Please, Dean. Make me yours.”

Dean pushed Castiel’s legs up and he leaned down, adjusting so his legs rested on Dean’s shoulder, and Dean was met with a glorious sight of Castiel’s spread ass in his face, the pink ring of muscle clenched tightly shut. Never breaking his eye contact with Castiel, he leaned down and licked another fat stripe on his skin, right over his hole, and Castiel let out another deep moan. Dean looked down at his work and began to lick laps against his muscle, testing the waters. Once Castiel had relaxed, he pushed his tongue past his rim. Castiel grabbed Dean’s hair and cried out, the intrusion causing more pleasure to run through his body.

Dean continued to work Cas open, his hands gripping his thighs and keeping them open. He pulled back and with another spit, he sat up and lined up with his entrance. He pushed into him and Castiel’s vision when white. He didn’t know what he was feeling: pleasure, pain, fulfillment, fear, or just the embodiment of Dean. Dean was inside him, Dean was causing his pleasure, and Dean was going to take the most sacred of things from him. Dean had closed his eyes, enjoying the heat and tightness around him. And then, he kicked it up.

Pulling back and thrusting back in, Dean picked up a steady pace, and Castiel was floating. Pleasure came in waves as Dean fucked him into the leather backseat, he was crying out in incoherent Enochian and letting out the hottest moans and whimpers Dean had ever heard in his life. Castiel wrapped a hand around the back of Dean’s neck, pulling him into a heated kiss. He moved down to mark up Dean’s neck, and with a change of angle, Castiel’s vision blurred. Dean had brushed up against a soft bundle of nerves that sent chills down his spine.

“Again.”

Dean picked up on what Castiel meant and he began to thrust into his prostate. Castiel became a blubbering mess, letting out streams of Enochian. Dean braced a hand on the fogged-up window, leaving a handprint in its wake. Within a particularly hard thrust to his prostate, Castiel came and he saw stars. His body was shaking with pleasure, and he gripped a hand to Dean’s shoulder, the shoulder he branded. When he came down from his high, he could barely register that Dean had reached his climax as well, emptying himself inside Castiel. He collapsed onto the angel’s chest, trying to catch his breath. He pressed a lazy kiss into the crook of his neck.

“That was… that was amazing, Cas.” Castiel nodded gently and panted softly.

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean pulled out of Castiel and helped him back into his boxers and covered him with his coat.

“Go to sleep, Cas.”

He placed a gentle kiss on his lips and climbed over the seat, curling up and passing out himself.


	7. Chapter 7

The fading footsteps left the three in stunned silence. Sam cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, leaning in his chair to get a better view of Dean.

“Anything you’d like to tell us, Dean?” Sam’s voice came out a lot shakier than he planned, but the reaction from Dean said enough. He dropped the groceries he was carrying on the table and pointed an accusing finger at Sam.

“I will kill you, your children, and your grandchildren.” He nodded and looked at Rowena. “Good talk.” He picked up a small plastic container from the bag, containing a single slice of blackberry pie, and he walked away, still leaving the two in an awkward silence. Rowena was the first to speak up.

“Hedonism.” It was the tone of her voice, as a mother asking her son about something he had done, that made Sam look between the stack of books and the doorframe which Castiel and Dean had disappeared behind.

The word had stuck in his mind. _Hedonism_. Castiel never spoke such arbitrary terms unless he was confused or in a form of distress, and he had said it with such melancholy he wondered what the two had really gotten up to just the night before. He handed Rowena the file folder of the Nephilim case and he stood up.

“I’m gonna go talk to Cas. Don’t touch anything.” She scoffed and sipped her tea, placing the folder back in its original spot with the rest of the case files. She picked up another book and began reading, taking notes on an ever growing stack of papers.

~

He kept his door shut tightly, locked and warded from human hearing, but it didn’t help that he could hear his own ragged breathing. He was terrified, and he was allowed to be in his current state.

He looked down again at his chest and placed his hand over where the vessel’s heart was. He knew what was happening the instant he was sick in the gas station bathroom, he knew what was happening the moment he had come into his room, overtaken by heat. He could feel his grace moving in ways that had caused him pain. He had heard of it once, had killed the abomination in question, and yet, his grace seemed to want to betray him.

A human had bred with him.

And now his grace was breaking.

It wasn’t as severe as Gabriel had said it would’ve been, being too overcome with pain to even look at his attending brother, but it was just painful enough to affect his breathing. The warmth of his grace was radiating around him, causing his vessel to perspire in an attempt to bring his temperature down, and he could feel each causing break. It wasn’t excruciating as he expected it to be, until the final break.

He felt the final crack, and he couldn’t help but let out a low groan, his vision growing dark as the pain took over his body. He gripped the area on his chest and bit down on his lip until he could taste blood.

A quick knock on the door brought him back from his stunned mindframe and he pushed himself out of bed, a hand still covering the area. He didn’t expect to see Sam when he opened the door, but he did take the bottle of water offered to him and took two long gulps before nodding towards Sam.

“Cas, can we talk? About your trip?” The hesitation in his voice caused Castiel to flinch and he nodded.

“Sure. Come in.”

Both men made their way into his room and Castiel sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Sam with confusion in his eyes. Sam took up leaning against the desk in the room and he rubbed a hand over his face.

“Alright, uh. You don’t have to tell me anything, okay? If you don’t want to talk about your activities last night, that’s fine. I just want to know about the _hedonism_. Honestly, Cas, the last time you talked about sex like that, it was because she killed you afterwards. Did you have a bad time with a woman last night?” He was trying to pick his words carefully with Castiel, lest he get zapped to the middle of nowhere like the last time he had a conversation like this with the angel, but with Castiel’s temperament, the way he was wringing his hands together, said something completely different. The angel took his time thinking out his words, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“Well, Sam, Dean and I did have a nice drive to the bar. It was beautiful, I didn’t know this tiny stretch of land could have so many trees. No, the intercourse didn’t end with being stabbed, this morning was worse than that.” Sam was the confused one now. He moved towards the bed and he sat next to Castiel.

“Yeah, I hear ya. One night stands can be tough, you know? Did she reject you?”

“I didn’t sleep with a woman, I slept with Dean.”

Nothing could’ve prepared Sam for that answer. He choked on his own spit for a second before standing up. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few breaths before looking at the angel, who was looking down shamefully. Sam’s face was mix of confused, astounded, and downright amused. Castiel, however, didn’t reciprocate the feelings. He looked so disappointed and sad, and Sam forced himself to keep a straight face.

“You slept with my brother?”

Castiel’s head shot up and he slowly rose to his feet, his hands in front of him as if to protect himself.

“Yes, we had intercourse. But that was after he made sure we wanted it. He was quite intoxicated at the time, but we did have intercourse. He said he doesn’t remember.”

Sam doubled over and started to laugh, which wasn’t the reaction Castiel thought he was going to get. He dropped his hands to his side as he watched the oversized man drop to his knees, nearly wheezing to catch a breath. He calmed down after a bit and he stood up, clapping a hand to Castiel’s back.

“I’m sorry, man. I don’t know what was so funny. Listen, I think you should go talk to Dean, alright? He’ll understand.” Sam pulled him into a quick hug and he patted his back. He pulled back and walked out, closing the door behind him. Castiel sighed and walked over to the mirror that hung on the wall above his dresser.

He unbuttoned his shirt and rolled it off his shoulders, standing with his bare chest to the mirror. He leaned in closely and looked at the skin that rested just above his heart. A faint light was glowing over his heart, and he could see the organ beating because of the new light. As soon as it was there, however, it flickered away, and he could no longer see his heart. He placed a hand over the area and he could feel the warmth radiating off of the skin. He smiled into the mirror before moving to shrug his shirt back on.

~

Dean’s head was reeling. Castiel was still extremely upset over their morning incident, and now Sam was going to be shoving his nose into places it didn’t belong. He wasn’t surprised when he came back to a clean room and fresh sheets, however, and he took the liberty of kicking his boots and jeans off and face planting into the soft bed, groaning in satisfaction as the scent of cheap laundry detergent hit his nose.

He didn’t want to move, and he didn’t want to make an effort to move, but he forced himself up anyway. The light was still on and glaring in his face, he was still wearing his top layers, and he knew if he slept in the position he had been holding, his back would’ve been complaining when he got up.

Carefully peeling off his coat, he let his thoughts wander to the night before. He could remember the sunset clearly, the feeling of peace and comfort being wrapped in those wings. He could remember handing him the money, and he could remember the dance floor. He couldn’t remember anything after that… what had happened? He couldn’t remember after their kiss.

Their kiss.

Their _kiss_.

Dean had to sit down. He had been drunk, hell, he was way past drunk when he kissed Castiel. He was in the dangerzone of alcohol poisoning when he kissed Cas. The memories came flooding back to him all at once. The kiss. The Impala. Cas underneath him. How he looked, how he tasted, how he smelled, and he swallowed thickly when the realization of what he did to Cas hit him. He took what Castiel had coveted as sacred, and ripped it to shreds. He knew about the significance of what he did, Cas had explained to him why certain angels never came to Earth. He had taken Castiel’s virginity, and he was too drunk to realize how special it should’ve been for him.

A quiet knock brought him back from his thoughts. He was clad in only his boxers when he answered the door, assuming it was Sam coming to chew his ass out. He didn’t expect to be met with the sight of a disheveled angel in his slacks and untucked dress shirt with three buttons undone. He looked him up and down before stepping aside, letting the angel in without saying a word. Castiel took the liberty upon himself to sit at the desk in the corner of the room, finding that distance was going to play a crucial part in their discussion. Dean sat down on the edge of his bed, rubbing his hands to the scruff on his face.

“Cas, listen before we-”

“Dean, I’m not here for an apology.”

He was taken aback by being interrupted from the get go, but he didn’t mind having to hear the angel out.

“You want to talk about last night?”

Castiel took a soft breath and shook his head.

“I want to know what’s going to happen between us.”

That was not the answer he was expecting. Looking between the floor and Castiel, he took his time to think out his response. On the one hand, he had actually taken what Castiel had been saving for millennia. On the other hand, they were drunk, it was just fun in the back of the Impala. He carefully thought out what to say to Castiel, and he opened his mouth.

“Honestly, Cas, I don’t know.”

Castiel took a sharp breath in and he stood up, crossing the distance between him and the bed in three short strides.

“Are you still drunk right now?”

Dean shook his head quickly, and the next thing he knew, he was pressed up against the wall, Castiel holding him there with the weight of his body.

“Then maybe this should jog your memory.”

With a short swipe of his tongue on his lips, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Dean’s, waiting for the signal for movement. Dean closed his eyes and was soon pushing back, his lips moving with Castiel’s in mixed times. Castiel pulled back and looked down at Dean’s swollen mouth. He nodded and took a step back, letting Dean off the wall.

“If that means anything to you, I’d reconsider my answer.”

He turned and walked away, leaving Dean stunned for words.

~

Sam returned to the library, where Rowena’s stack of notes was starting to resemble a small book. He sighed and picked up another book from the Demon pile, flipping through a few pages.

“How is the angel, Samuel?”

“He’s fine, Rowena.”

Rowena looked towards the doorway and then back to Sam.

“Making sure.”

Sam set the book down and looked at Rowena, his eyes squinted at her with accusation.

“For the last time, Rowena, I’m not going to ask Cas to jump into the pit. It’s too dangerous.”

She sat up and faced with the same certainty she had when she asked him to kill Crowley.

“Then do it yourself, you moose.”


	8. Chapter 8

He had said yes. He had done it for the right reasons, but he still didn’t know the reasons yet. There was locking up the Darkness, that would save one problem. There was keeping Lucifer out of the way of the Winchesters, that would help another. Then there was the problem of his grace, which he still hadn’t the courage to tell Dean. If Lucifer was done with him, he could simply burn him out, and he feared for his child. 

“For the love of Dad, can you shut up? You know I can hear your thoughts,” Lucifer resounded annoyingly. 

“You know, brother, this can go wrong quite quickly. You can decide to kill me after the Darkness is locked away, you could decide to destroy the grace that is separating, you could-”

“Cassie, why would I kill my unborn nephew? I think the kid will be cute. Have you told Dean yet?” Castiel looked up from where he was fixing the TV and he paused to think about what to say to Lucifer, who walked in front of the TV to catch his attention. “So, you haven’t. Don’t you think he should, since he is the father after all? I bet you haven’t even picked the kid’s traits yet. You know you’ll be ready in a few months, why haven’t you picked traits?”

“I’m as much of the father to him as Dean is.”

“So, you have picked one trait!”

“Lucifer, shut up.” Lucifer raised his hands in defense.

“Geez, alright. How about when we pop the box on aunty over here I go out and do a little cloud seeding of my own?” Castiel narrowed his eyes at him.

“You’ve had millennia to create a nephilim or to even split your grace, why do you want to start now?”

“Maybe because I’m looking for someone who’s strong enough to hold the power of an archangel. Not many people can do that.”

“Can we just focus on the task at hand and put Amara away before anyone else gets hurt.”

“Fine.”

~

Dean looked between Sam and Rowena. 

“Are you sure it’s gonna work? I mean, are you sure Cas is even going to appear?”

“He should, it’s a guaranteed spell. I don’t know how you don’t trust me.” Rowena shrugged and threw a tuft of Castiel’s hair in the bowl. 

“Why don’t I trust you? Do I need to remind you of the last year and a half of things you’ve done?”

“Nevermind.”

Sam finished pouring the holy oil into a circle and capped the jug. 

“Alright. We should be good. Ready to call Lucifer?”

Crowley emerged from behind a wall and nodded. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

~

Castiel leaned back in his chair, a sated smile on his face as he watched Game of Thrones. Lucifer came back with a bowl of popcorn and sat next to Castiel. 

“Tell me something, Cassie. You’ve been with Dean on and off for seven years and not once have you guys ever made a move. One drunken night and your grace splits immediately?”

Castiel sighed and took a handful of popcorn. 

“Well, it took a long time for me to come to terms with being in love with Dean, and an even longer time to realize we’ll never have an actual relationship or even have a family. We drank, shared a night in the Impala and that was it.” Lucifer nodded and handed Castiel the bowl. 

“I’ll be back.”

~

“Castiel, show yourself!” Dean begged, watching as Lucifer fought for control in the holy fire. Lucifer cackled at Dean. 

“You think you can win? You always have. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

Just then, Castiel’s face shifted to worry. 

“Dean? What’s going on?”

“Cas, you need to kick him out.”

“What do you-”

Lucifer fought back and gained control, laughing at Dean. 

“Did you really think that would work?”

“Cas!”

“Cas!” Lucifer mocked him. “Listen here, Winchester. You try something like this again, I’ll kill Cas twice, I’ll kill Jimmy thrice, and I’ll make sure you watch as I tear your child apart piece by graceful piece.”  
The fire went out and Lucifer left in a flurry of flapping wings.

~

Castiel paced the floor of the War Room, his hands running through his hair. Lucifer came back in and grabbed him. 

“If you ever kick me out, I will kill everyone you love and know. I will make you watch as I rip that grace from your chest and burn it with every last flame of hell. Don’t test me.” He pushed him away and picked up the   
remote. “What episode were we on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the super short chapter, but I'm currently under financial situations that are less than ideal and I'm about to start college and a new job. I'll be updating asap, with longer chapters I hope, but for now, enjoy Lucifer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but action will begin soon, I promise!

Dean stood dumbfounded at the charred remains of the holy oil. His hand went to his mouth, and he looked at Rowena with worry in his eyes. Rowena looked at Sam, who’s eyes were wide with fear. The realization of Lucifer’s declaration was settling in with the group, and each one had a different reaction.

On one hand, Dean was confused. His child? He couldn’t have knocked up Cas, he was in a male vessel. On the other hand, he was also excited. His child. He had never dreamed of being able to settle down, to have kids, get married. Cas was his best friend, he loved him like a brother, but now Cas was carrying his child, and he could see what the future holds. He could see a little house with a white picket fence. He could see their yard full of toys for a toddler, a little girl with black curls and deep green eyes. He could see Castiel playing with their child as Dean nursed a beer on the front porch. But, he couldn’t stop thinking about Lucifer’s warning. The porch he was sitting on erupted into flames, Castiel and their little girl trapped in the house. He couldn’t get them out, he couldn’t get inside. A hand on his shoulder jolted him out of his thoughts. Sam patted his shoulder.

“C’mon, Dean. Let’s go do some more research.”

~*~

“So, wait, you’re telling us, you’re God?” Sam looked taken aback by the sudden shift in events. Dean was holding the amulet he thought he lost all those year back. Chuck Shurley, or God as they just discovered, stood in front of them after another attack from Amara.

“It’s a long story, boys. Nothing we can’t discuss over a few drinks. Also, congratulations, Dean, on your kid. I can’t wait to be a grandpa!” Chuck snapped his fingers and they found themselves in the bunker again. Chuck poured them some scotch and handed Sam a glass. He passed a glass to Dean and raised his own. Dean looked at Sam.

“Wait, wait, wait, so, God, ho-”

“Call me Chuck.”

“Okay, Chuck, why did you come back now?”

“It seemed like you were in need of the most help, and I was tired of hiding. I’m tired of hiding from my sister.”

Dean choked on his drink and Sam went into a short coughing fit. Dean was the first to gain composure.

“Your sister?”

“Yeah. Cas didn’t mention this?”

“Cas isn’t… Cas.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean set his glass down and leaned against the table.

“We, uh, we went to talk to Lucifer about helping us with Amara.”

“You. Did. _What_?”

“Hear me out. It wasn’t the smartest decision, but we knew that you had Lucifer, a hoard of archangels, and some demons help you beat down Amara. We told him we wouldn’t let him out, Cas let him in.”

Chuck set his glass down and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “You’re telling me, you let Lucifer into my son who is currently holding my grandchild, and you’re totally cool with it?”

“We have no choice! Lucifer said he’d kill Cas and the… the… the _baby_ if we tried to get him out of Cas.” Dean paused and closed his eyes. He let out a soft sigh before continuing. “I just learned we were having a kid a few weeks ago. He never told me. So I’m gonna let Lucifer ride front if it means I have a chance to meet this kid.”

Chuck nodded and poured himself another glass before setting it back down and grabbing Dean’s shoulder.

“I’m with you on this.”

~

Another scream echoed in the empty silo, and Lucifer fell limp against his bounds.

“Mercy, mercy!”

“For such a disobedient child, you seem to follow orders correctly.” Lucifer groaned and looked up at Amara.

“You know Castiel is expecting, right? You kill this child, you’ll have the wrath of Heaven and Hell on you.”

“Wow. I’m so scared.” She flicked her wrist and smiled. “Castiel, show yourself.”

Castiel let out a small groan before opening his eyes and looking at Amara.

“Amara.”

“Castiel, it’s been a while.”

“What’s going on?”

“Lucifer says you’re expecting.”

“That traitorous little-”

“Hush, my dear nephew. Listen to me, I won’t hurt you or your child. The only one I’m concerned with is Lucifer. Now, rest easy. Let me take care of him.” She flicked her wrist and grabbed Lucifer by the neck, choking him. His eyes widened and she came close to his face.

“You touch him, you touch his child, and I will burn you until here is nothing left.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter that is not based around Season 11. I hope you enjoy!

“Merry Christmas, Cas.”

Sam, Dean, and Castiel were in the War room, a tiny Christmas tree sitting in the middle of the mahogany table. The white, twinkling lights set a warm glow in the dark room as Sam set up his laptop next to the tree. They had decided to celebrate Christmas under a hushed conversation after the worst of the battle with the Darkness had ended, when Chuck and Amara finally got to settle their scores. Castiel had escaped from the brute end of a blow, meant for Lucifer but still aimed at him, which had nearly cost him his life and his grace.

The idea of celebrating Christmas unsettled Dean, since the last Christmas him and Sam shared together was the Christmas before Dean’s inevitable death. Castiel was more than willing to celebrate Christmas, he was excited to participate in some form of family tradition. Castiel glanced at Dean and then smiled at the ground.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

Dean turned around and sat down in one of the chairs next to the table, holding a glass of Sam’s famous spiked eggnog, his free hand settling on a small wrapped box in his pocket. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of the ridiculous outfit Castiel had picked out.

He had insisted on celebrating in every festive way the angel could figure out. He had on his suit and trench coat, but over it was a fuzzy knit sweater with an embroidered red nosed reindeer on the front, a red pompom set over where the nose would be. A thin glow of light peeked through the holes of his sweater, a sight the boys had come used to seeing. ‘The brighter he glows, the nearer the time becomes,’ Chuck had told them. He still had a few more months before it would be time, but they pushed the thought away, especially since Chuck had told them what happened to the angels. Dean shivered at the thought and he glanced up to notice Castiel was staring at him.

“What?”

“You look concerned.”

“‘M not, Cas.” Castiel scoffed.

“You know I can sense when you are lying.” Dean licked his lips and sighed.

“Let’s not talk about it now. Don’t want to ruin the festivities.”

Sam leaned back after messing with the laptop. ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ began to play on the small screen, and Castiel took a seat next to Dean. Dean leaned over to whisper to Castiel.

“This is where Clarence came from.”

“I don’t understand that reference.”

“You will soon.”

~

An hour into the movie, Dean looked to his left and his right. To his left, Castiel was intently watching the movie, a hand resting over where the glow on his chest should be. To his right, Sam was asleep, his head laying limp on his shoulder. Dean sipped at his eggnog and his thoughts wandered off to the conversation Chuck had with them.

~

_Chuck sat down at the dining room table with them, a concerned hush settling over the three. Rowena set a cup of tea down in front of him and she slumped into a chair next to him. Dean’s face was taut with worry, and Sam had his notepad and pen ready for whatever Chuck had to say. Chuck cleared his throat._

_“So I assume we all know why we’re here.”_

_Rowena sipped at her tea and set her cup down, clearing her throat as well._

_“Well, Samuel and myself know a bit about our angel’s… situation, but we don’t know the outcome or any other information. We have the spells to keep the angels away, we have the spells to protect the baby, but we just want to know more.”_

_Dean took his turn to speak._

_“Is…” he sighed quietly and looked at Chuck with seriousness in his eyes. “Is he going to survive this?”_

_“To be completely honest, I have no idea. I’ve had mixed results. Some survive, some don’t. The ones who didn’t, died a painful death.” Sam and Rowena shared a look before Chuck continued. “When I created free will, I never meant for my sons and daughters to fall in love with you. Angelic grace is not meant to meld with a human soul, it’s much too powerful. I dulled it down by giving the kids their choice of traits, it helps ease the amount of power that comes with separation. Castiel has already picked one trait, so it shouldn’t be as painful when it separates.”_

_Dean looked up intrigued._

_“A trait? What trait?”_

_“He’s picked the sex of the child. But, you need to remember, the baby might not survive either. The melding of angelic grace and a human soul causes almost infinite power to be released. It’s like a nuclear warhead going off. Your baby could burn to death before it’s even here.”_

_“What about Castiel?”_

“Dean.”

Castiel shook Dean’s arm, awaking him from his daydream.

“Yeah, I’m here, Cas.”

“The movie’s over.”

He looked over and noticed the laptop screen had become black. Sam continued to softly snore from his chair. He stood up and tugged at Castiel’s coat.

“C’mon, I’ve got a little surprise for you.”

Castiel stood up and Dean led them back towards the hallway, stopping in front of his own bedroom. He pushed the door open and pulled Castiel towards his bed. He retreated to close the door and he smiled at the sight before him.

Castiel had begun to undress, pulling the sweater off of his coat. He folded it nicely and set it on the foot of the bed. He shook his trench coat off and followed with his suit jacket. He set his tie down before turning around and noticing Dean’s expression. He undid three buttons of his shirt and stepped forward, taking Dean’s hand. He smiled and moved his collar to expose the light behind his beating heart. Dean could see his pace pick up as he placed Dean’s hands down on the warmth. At first, he could only feel Castiel’s racing heart, but soon he felt a feather light shudder. The flutters could soon be felt at the base of his skin, and Dean’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, hi there.”

Castiel smiled.

“I know you’ve been wanting to do this since we started celebrating today. And I wanted to give you something as well.” He moved to lean down and pick up a box that was underneath Dean’s bed. He beckoned Dean to sit on the bed and he did. He looked at Castiel expectantly and he let out a soft sigh.

“I know you were thinking about the conversation with Chuck, and I wanted to give you something that would possibly commemorate this experience for you. I did some research online and I learned human babies need to sustain their body temperature because they get cold.” He handed him the box and Dean took it into his hands gingerly, as if he was afraid of breaking what was inside. He unwrapped the plain brown paper and opened the box. His eyes widened and he pulled out a tiny gray beanie, just like the one he wore during the winter. Underneath was a pair of tiny black socks with matching mittens to cover the baby’s hands with. He looked at Castiel with a bewildered smile on his face, and he nudged him to continue. “There’s one more gift in there.” He looked down and he covered his mouth. He pulled out a pair of little black combat boots, almost the exact same pair of the ones he was currently wearing. He couldn’t help but let out a small, “Oh Cas.” He set the gifts down and put an arm on his shoulders.

“This is actually happening. You bought baby things. Aren’t you a few months off your date?”

“Exactly two months tomorrow morning. I thought that I might get something, since you and Sam still need to get furniture and other items.”

Dean pulled out the small box that was in his pocket and handed it to Castiel.

“It may not be as amazing as the baby clothes, but I thought you might like it.”

Castiel pulled the top off the box and his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. He looked in wonder as he pulled out a silver ring with green line engraved down the center of the ring. He pulled it onto his left ring finger and held it up to the light.

“Dean, I love it.”

“It’s something that I’ve held onto for a while. It’s something to keep close. You’re family, Cas. I want you to remember that.”

Castiel nodded and helped Dean place the baby clothes back into the box. He let out a yawn and stood up to stretch.

“I should probably get some sleep.”

Before he could leave, Dean caught him by his wrist and smoothed his thumb over his skin.

“Stay tonight?”

Castiel had never slept better in his life.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick write, hope you like!

Dean’s eyes fluttered open upon a sight he’d never thought he’d see. Castiel was propped up in his bed, his shirt fully unbuttoned and shrugged halfway down his shoulders, his left hand tracing patterns into the glow in his skin. The light was brighter than yesterday, though they could barely see the difference in resemblance to yesterday. Castiel hummed a lullaby he had picked up off of the internet, and he continued to trace his fingertips over his tanned skin. Dean slowly sat up and watched him, his own mind wandering about the child and the next two months to come. They had to get a nursery, they had to get formula, they had to get diapers, clothing, toys, bath items. It was beginning to dawn on him how much of a task hunting and raising a child was going to be. He knew this wasn’t Castiel’s fault, nor was it his, but the timing was difficult to ignore, and the added risk of losing Castiel or the baby, or even the both of them, was bringing the stress level to an even higher stake than he was used to. 

He groaned and rolled out of bed, pulling on his robe and slipping his feet into the matching slippers. Castiel looked up and began to get up as well, pulling his shirt back over his shoulders but leaving it unbuttoned. 

Trudging down the hallway towards the kitchen, Dean stopped to appreciate their small Christmas tree. The aroma of fresh pine and cinnamon reminded him of the Christmases he used to spend with Mary before Sam was born, especially his fourth Christmas when his dad had given him a bike he fixed up himself. 

He took a step in the direction of the kitchen, where fresh coffee was being brewed by Sam. He was already at the table, halfway through a bowl of cereal, with his laptop open to a news article. 

“So, get this. 5th woman killed in California, same MO. Heart ripped clean out and a brand on her spine. Might be a case.”

Dean nodded and grabbed a bowl, sitting across from Sam. 

“Milk run. We’ll be in and out in no time. Maybe we could go to LA.”

Sam closed his laptop and shook his head. 

“I think that’s out of the question. It’s up in Sacramento.”

“Alright, we’ll go see the Capital, since you’re into that kind of nerdy stuff.”

“Since when have you been up for sightseeing?”

“Since my grace had been splitting,” Castiel deadpanned from the other side of the kitchen. 

Sam looked between Castiel and Dean and he raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re sightseeing because of Cas?”

Castiel brought over two steaming cups of coffee for him and Dean. 

“It was something I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve never had time. Dean told me to write a list of things I want to do before I die.”

Sam nodded.

“A bucket list.”

“I’m still unsure on how a bucket is related to this list, but I did talk about seeing the beauty that this Earth has to hold.”

“So seeing old white dudes pass legislation is the beauty of Earth?”

“Government, in itself, has always been the ultimate testament of free will in its natural form. Humans taking control of the uncontrollable and turning it into a degree of higher power to sustain and help life go on… even Heaven can’t control that much of angelic interaction, and I led a battalion in the Holy War.”

Sam looked taken aback and he nodded. 

“Fair enough. Get packed. We’ll leave in an hour.”

~

Dean swept a hand over Baby’s driver’s side door and he grinned. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Ready to go for a hunt?” 

He leaned in and honked the horn. 

“Sam! Cas! Let’s go!”

Dean had already checked their ammunition supply, filled the cooler with snacks, beer, and the fancy fruit waters Castiel and Sam liked to share. He made sure Baby had a full tank of gas, clean oil, washer fluid, and enough coolant to get them halfway to their destination. Sam came into the garage first, two bags slung over his shoulder. Castiel came in on his heels, complaining to Sam about him carrying his bag. 

“All I’m saying is that I’m still okay. It’s not like I have a female vessel and carrying a foetus. It’s just grace.”

“Which means your mojo is seriously low and we can’t take any risks.”

Dean smirked at the two and just let out a huff at Sam. 

“C’mon, Sammy. Just let him carry his bag.”

Sam set their stuff down with a loud thunk, and then slammed the trunk shut. They all got into the car and Dean peeled out of the garage, tire screeching echoing off the walls.

~

They left Lebanon at 9 am, give or take a few minutes, and stopped for the night in Colorado at 8pm. They found a tiny motel off of the freeway with free parking and decent wifi for Sam. Dean walked into the lobby to find a 16 year old working the front desk, pamphlets about the sights in Colorado strewn about the desk. A stream of heavy metal music poured from his headphones, and Dean had to knock on the wood a few times to catch his attention. He looked up at him, startled then annoyed. He pulled his headphones off and sighed. 

“Welcome to the Mesa Motel, two queens?”

“Perfect.”

Dean handed over a small wad of twenties to the kid and his eyes lit up. 

“No way, no one ever pays with cash.”

“Consider it your lucky night. Go get something to eat.”

The kid smiled widely, handing him over two keys before leaving the desk to the back. Dean turned around and walked back out to the car, noticing how Castiel was sitting in the back. He was slumped to his side, his head laying on his chest in what looked to be a painful position, and he finally noticed the angel was snoring. He had fallen asleep the last hour of the car ride, resting to get his energy level up for the big hunt that was to follow in the next few days. Dean handed a key to Sam. 

“We’re ground level. 219-B.”

Dean picked up the cooler and opened the trunk, grabbing his and Castiel’s bags. Sam shook him awake. 

“Cas, buddy, we got a room. I know you’re tired, but let’s get you in bed.”

Castiel stood up, quite uneasy on his feet, and he leaned against Sam as they walked to the room. Dean locked up the car and followed suit. 

~

Dean pushed the door open to room 219-B. The room was painted a neutral beige with few decorations. Black curtains hung over the window that faced the beds, and two queen sized beds with a generous amount of pillows sat in the middle of the room, separated by only a nightstand and a lamp. Castiel shrugged his coats off and kicked his shoes into a corner, throwing himself into the bed closest to the door. Dean chuckled and set their bags down next to the bed Castiel had claimed. 

“Not gonna lie, this isn’t too bad for $80 a night.”

Dean began to kick his own boots off when he noticed Sam’s perplexed look. 

“Where am I sleeping?”

Dean looked at him like he was crazy. 

“That bed’s all yours, princess.”

“Okay, where are you sleeping?”

Dean’s face flushed up bright pink and he looked at the sleeping angel. 

“I think I’ll sleep next to Cas, keep an eye on him. He’s gonna be due soon, and if anything happens I’ll be right here.”

Sam nodded slightly and sat down at his own bed. He placed his laptop on the ground next to an outlet to charge and he leaned into the mountain of pillows. Dean clicked the lamp off and fell asleep on top of the covers.

~

“My, my, look at what I’ve caught here,” the werewolf snarled at Dean. He had fallen into a trap, going to investigate what he heard was a little girl screaming. He had found the girl, who turned out to be the daughter of the pureblood who was currently smelling Dean’s neck. Dean flinched and tried to move away, only to be caught by the restraints on his wrists, which were hanging above his head. “I’ve caught a hunter. I’ve caught a Winchester. Daddy’s gonna be so proud.” His head was throbbing in pain from the blow he had received just minutes prior to being restrained, and he let out a groan. The girl grabbed his face and smirked. “What did I say about noises?” She held the angel blade she had taken from him. “Where to start with you?” She pushed the tip into the skin on his abdomen and pressed lightly. A bead of blood dripped down to the band of his jeans, and he bit his lip to suppress another groan. 

The door burst open, Sam and Castiel running into the room frantically. She turned around and hissed at them. 

“You always ruin the surprise, don’t you!”

Castiel was the first to take a shot at her with the silver bullets in his gun. She dodged them effortlessly, a few barely missing Dean. Sam came up to Dean while she was distracted with Castiel and he unlocked his restraints, letting him down with ease. 

“C’mon, Dean.”

Dean rubbed his wrists and took his gun back from Sam’s outstretched hands. He pointed toward where Castiel was engaged in one on one battle. Dean took his shot, and the girl whimpered. She fell to the floor, gasping for air. Dean grabbed Castiel and pulled him away from the girl. 

“What have you done?!” A booming voice came from behind them. They all turned around to see a man in the doorway, hunched over and holding his chest. “You fools! You morons!” He looked up with the green, glinting eyes and he lunged at Dean first. His fists came down in quick procession, one after the other, and the pain flared up immediately. One to his face, his stomach, his side, his head, his chest, and they all knocked the wind out of him. Sam tackled the wolf, pushing him off of Dean, who scrambled to his feet and regained his breath. Castiel kicked the wolf off of Sam, who got up as well. 

The wolf seemed to back off, their three guns pointed at him. They began to slowly move back out of the room, Castiel the only one never losing eye contact. Once he turned around to walk back, the wolf attacked again. 

A mere matter of seconds, a clawed hand wrapped itself around his neck and yanked back hard. He yelped as he was pulled back into the room with Dean chasing after him. Castiel struggled to break free, and the man laughed. 

“Angel. I can smell it.”

He held Castiel against a wall on the other side of the room, and he leaned in to smell at him, just as the other girl had with Dean. He opened his mouth, his teeth growing in, and he clamped his mouth against Castiel’s neck. Castiel let out a scream, and the wolf’s eyes widened. He fell limp against Castiel, the hilt of a silver knife embedded into his back. Castiel grabbed his neck as the blood began to steadily ooze from in between his fingers. 

The light glowed brightly, and then faded.

Castiel collapsed.


	12. Chapter 12

The car sped through the wet freeway, mist flying up from underneath the tires. Sam was driving, Dean in the back holding his hand over Castiel’s bleeding neck. He held a bloodied rag over the bite.

“Damn it, Sam, drive faster!” Dean exclaimed.

Castiel’s eyes hadn’t opened in the hour that they had spent on the road towards the nearest hospital. Dean kept pressure on his neck with one hand, keeping his other near his face to make sure he was breathing.

The air was thick with tension as Sam kept the pedal to the floor, doing his best to drive quickly while avoiding a collision. Dean moved his free hand to undo a few buttons of Castiel’s shirt, checking for any sign of his broken grace. A dull glow came over his chest before disappearing, then again. And again. Castiel’s chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, and the glow suddenly disappeared.

He waited.

The glow didn’t come back.

Sam slammed on the breaks.

“Dean. Let’s go.”

He looked up to see a red light emitting from the sign that read ‘Emergency Only’ next to the car. They were still in the middle of nowhere, what looked to be a small town with the one hospital sitting on the end of the street.

“You gotta help me, Sammy. I can’t let go of him.”

Sam got out of the car and came around. He opened the door and Dean sucked in a breath of cold air to calm his nerves. Sam wrapped one of his arms around Castiel, Dean taking his other arm to help, and they half carried, half dragged him into the emergency room.

The waiting area was quiet, only one other person sitting with a sling over his arm. Sam was the first one through the door, and the attending nurse stood up quickly.

“What’s going on?”

“We need a doctor. He was stabbed.”

Dean moved to take his hand off of the rag. More blood oozed from the wound in Castiel’s neck. The nurse grabbed a wheelchair and helped them ease Castiel down. She took him back, Dean and Sam quick to  
follow. The security guard stopped them short of going back with them.

“Sorry, nurses only.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Sit down, sir.”

Sam pulled Dean over to the chairs in the waiting room, and they sat.

~

“21! Yes!”

The other angels groaned as Gabriel pulled the chips on the table closer to himself. Another angel began to deal cards to the others around the table: Gabriel first, then Cadriel, Joiel, Anaphiel, and then Hormel, the dealer. They each held their cards close to themselves, and Gabriel smirked as he popped a lollipop between his lips.

“Fold.”

“Fold.”

“I’ll raise you $50,000.”

“Fold.”

“I raise you, Gabriel, everything.”

Gabriel raised an eye at Cadriel.

“Are you sure, sister?”

Cadriel nodded and pushed all her chips towards the center. Gabriel followed suit, all in with her. She laid her cards down first.

“Twenty.”

Gabriel smiled and then laid his cards down.

“Twenty.”

Cadriel laughed.

“One.”

Her smile faded.

“Again, Gabriel? Seriously?”

“You put all in.”

He pulled his chips towards himself and stood up.

“I’m cashing out. Brothers, sister, have a nice day.”

He stood up with the chips in his arms and he made his way to the angel in control of cashing out, Adriel. She handed him the cash from the machine and bid him farewell. He returned to the table, where a silence came over the group. The water glasses on the table were shaking, and a high pitched ringing came over them. Angel Radio had been activated, and the words that came through made no sense to any of them.

_‘Broken grace… losing blood… werewolves… Winchesters… Winchesters… Winchesters!’_

The phase passed over them and another voice came over them.

_‘Nephilim… the nephilim… fallen angel.’_

Gabriel looked between his brothers and sister. They all looked fearful of the messages received, except for Cadriel. She looked furious. She stood up quickly and grabbed Gabriel.

“Come with me, brother.”

“Where are we going?”

She smiled sweetly at him.

“We are going to find this angel and rip him to shreds. You know the rules about nephilim. This angel must be punished, and the abomination needs to be put down.”

~

Dean’s leg bounced up and down with nervous energy, checking his phone every minute. He tried to watch the television that was playing in the waiting room, but he found himself back into his worrying habit. Sam was asleep in the uncomfortable metal chairs, leaving Dean to wonder about the next few hours to come.

If Castiel pulled through, there’d be a lot of changes to be made. No more hunting until the baby had come, and even then, Dean would have to cut back on the hunts. They’d have a carseat in the back of Baby, the monsters would have another way to kill them, another bargaining chip to their hands, but that would only be if the baby survived initially being born.

If Castiel didn’t pull through… Dean didn’t want to think about that. Castiel would be gone, his child would be gone. His best friend wouldn’t be here anymore to support him, Heaven would turn against them all. God wouldn’t believe in them, Chuck wanted his grandchild, and he would do anything to make sure he got his baby.

A nurse came back a few hours after they arrived. Her scrubs were fresh, but there was blood on her shoes.

“For Mr. Smith?”

Dean shook Sam awake and stood up. The nurse held the chart against her chest.

“He’s stable. The knife created a small tear in his jugular vein, which we sutured up quickly. He lost a lot of blood, so he’s on a transfusion right now. I’d say he’s a lucky man. You can come back now if you’d like.”

Dean nodded quickly and they walked back through the double doors, the security guard nodding solemnly towards the boys.

~

Gabriel stopped Cadriel in front of the gate.

“Are you sure about this, sister? You don’t know what you’ll be getting into.”

Cadriel scoffed at Gabriel and pushed his arm away.

“I’m starting to think you’re sympathetic towards this angel.”

“I know what it’s like to have your grace split off. Mine, however, made another angel, not a nephilim. In any way of changing your mind, this is an angel and their child. You, of all people, should know what it’s like to lose a child, and it’s something you never get over, is it?”

Cadriel tensed up and raised her blade at Gabriel.

“Don’t you dare mention his name.”

“Then you know my reservation towards this mission.”

“Adriel is in charge, Adriel put me on nephilim watch, this is my mission. I’m going to eliminate the threat to Heaven, whatever it takes.”

Cadriel turned away from Gabriel and walked out the gate.

~

Castiel was sitting up in his bed, fighting with the attending nurse. The boys walked in to Castiel trying to remove the IV line in his arm, with a nurse trying to give him more medication in his line.

“I told you already, I’m fine. I don’t need anymore medication.”

“Sir, this is a tetanus shot, to keep your wound from becoming infected.”

“You’ve already given me medication to prevent infection.”

“We need to give you another medication.”

“Hey, Cas, just let them do what they need to.”

Castiel turned and looked at Dean, his face softening.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, we’re here, buddy.”

The nurse got the medication into his line without further complications from Castiel. She left and the glow from his grace came back, full frontal. Dean smiled and took a seat next to Castiel.

“We were worried. You saved our asses but you scared the shit out of us.”

Castiel sighed before removing the oxygen tubes from his nose.

“I was trying to protect you and Sam.”

“You need to protect yourself and the kid.”

“I’m sorry for putting myself in a risky situation.”

Dean smiled again and hummed.

“How is the kid doing?”

Castiel placed Dean’s hand over the fabric of his gown, and the flutters began immediately.

“He was the one keeping me alive. His grace split off more to help, he healed most of my internal wounds, but because he split off further, it sped up the time it’ll take for him to come. I’m closer to a month than two.”

Dean swallowed thickly and nodded.

“Things will be okay, Cas. Get some rest, okay?”

“Don’t leave.”

Dean nodded and Sam took the chair next to him.

“We won’t.”

Castiel laid back down and fell asleep, curled closer to Dean’s side.

~

Gabriel’s legs gave out as he landed on Earth for the first time in five years, since the day Lucifer attempted to kill him over the Winchesters. Cadriel scoffed at him

“You would think an archangel would have more grace than that, especially while on a mission.”

“I’m only here to make sure you don’t mess up.”

“And how would I do that?”

Gabriel tapped his chin in thought.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe kill one of our brothers or sisters in spite? Or maybe you’ll torture them and torture the kid like your last mission? Or even-”

“Okay, okay, I get it, Gabriel.”

“I’m keeping an eye on you, Cadriel.”

Another wave of Angel Radio came over the both of them.

_‘Thirty days…’_

Cadriel looked up.

“Thirty days to eliminate the threat.”

“Do you know of any of our brothers and sisters who are still here?”

Cadriel nodded.

“Castiel is a start.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a long one!

**29 Days**

Castiel was released the morning after, with a prescription list of antibiotics, pain medication, and vitamin supplements for the temporary anemia. The boys picked them up at a cheap drugstore on their way back towards home. Castiel napped on and off during the duration of the car ride, only waking up to take his medication. A dull, throbbing ache had set over his upper chest, the grace glowing powerfully from being so close to when the date of arrival would be. Entering Salt Lake City, Castiel was overcome with nausea, to the point where Dean had to pull off and let Castiel out so he could throw up. He doubled over as he was sick, the only thing coming up was bile, since he hadn’t eaten in the last day. He stood back up on shaky feet and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. After re entering the car, he leaned back to relax. Sam handed him a bottle of water to sip on, and he fell back asleep.

They stopped at a rest stop for the night, Sam and Dean squeezed into the front while Castiel slept in the back.

**28 Days**

Castiel woke up feeling worse than the day before. His chest was still hurting, he knew it would hurt until the day the grace was released. He was still nauseous, that was a given, but the nausea was worse, and any scent of food set him off. Sam kept pressing water into his hands, however, and he still took his medication. The drive, while not as curvy as Utah had been, proved to be a challenge as the nausea took over him. Dean attempted to feed him something, having him successfully take two bites of a dry ham sandwich, to only come back up ten minutes later while back out on the road.

They didn’t get to the bunker until midnight, and Castiel was still fighting to keep some water down. Dean helped him to one of the bathrooms near his room, and he left two bottles of water for him to sip on while he got ready for bed. When he came back, Castiel was slumped over and fast asleep. He didn’t want to wake him up, so he went to bed, only to get up every few hours to make sure he was okay.

**27 Days**

Dean awoke the next morning with a plan in mind. He got up and went into the bathroom where he left Castiel, who was taking his medication. Dean refilled his bottle with water from the tap and he handed it back to him. Castiel took it shakily from his hands and nodded a small ‘thank you’ to him. The brush of his fingers left Dean’s hand tingling, and he looked at him concerned. He placed the back of his hand to Castiel’s forehead and hissed, pulling it back quickly.

“Cas, you’re burning up.”

“I do feel a little warm.”

“A little?”

Dean walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to a small closet between the rooms. He opened the door and dug around in one of the baskets full of miscellaneous medications. He pulled out an old fashioned mercury thermometer, and he shook it a few times to place the bulb on the lowest tick mark. He walked back into the bathroom and looked at Castiel.

“You think you’ll be able to keep this in your mouth for a few minutes?”

Castiel nodded and took the thermometer from Dean, placing it under his tongue. Dean set a timer on his phone and sat next to Castiel. He could see how bright his grace was glowing, and it worried him about how close they were getting to. Sam and him still hadn’t got baby items. They hadn’t purchased furniture, painted a room, bought clothes or diapers. They were unprepared for a child as much as Castiel was unprepared to bring him into the world. They hadn’t even discussed a name for him, let alone how he’d look, what his personality would be like…

Dean thought about the angels taking their little angel away. He knew the rules about nephilim, the task force that Heaven had employed to rid the world of them. He also knew about Castiel’s role in the force against nephilim. He had killed his fair share of unborn and newly born nephilim, until a few of his sisters from his battalion had killed themselves by falling from Heaven after a massacre.

He was taken from his thoughts as his phone beeped. He pulled the thermometer from Castiel’s mouth, the glass warm from his mouth. The mercury bulb was on the second from the highest tick mark, a red 108 F. He shook his head and washed off the thermometer. He grabbed a washcloth from a drawer on the sink vanity and ran it under cold water. He placed it on Castiel’s neck. He relaxed and leaned his head against the side of the porcelain bowl. Dean patted his shoulder and got up to leave.

~

Cadriel looked at the map Gabriel had unfolded.

“Castiel was last seen with the Winchesters here.” She pointed at the capital of California, drawing a small red circle. “Their car was seen here,” she highlighted Salt Lake City and Lebanon. “They disappeared in Lebanon into a warded area about 10 miles in diameter. What do you think?”

Gabriel looked up from his phone.

“What did you say? Sorry, I was looking at cat videos.”

Cadriel looked at him in annoyance.

“Seriously, we should be focusing on the task at hand.”

“Isn’t the task waiting until angel junior is born and then finding the bomb? This seems really counter intuitive.”

“If we find Castiel, we can find the source. We only have twenty-seven more days before Heaven’s most wanted is born.” 

Gabriel looked up from his phone again.

“Did you say something?”

She sighed and folded the map back up.

“To Lebanon.”

Gabriel groaned and snapped his fingers.

~

“Sammy, he’s burning. I don’t think he’ll last until the due date.” Dean was rummaging through the pantry, trying to find something that Castiel could eat without having it come back up.

“Dean, we’re doing as much as we can. I know it’s a hard thing to think about, but you know we might lose Cas and the baby.”

“You know what? You’re gonna do the thing where you shut up and never open your mouth again.”

“I’m being reali-”

“I swear to God, Sam.”

Sam closed his laptop and looked at him with a seriousness that made Dean sit down.

“We need to talk about this. You keep pretending like this isn’t going to happen, but even Chuck said it happens. There’s a high chance, an enormously high chance, that Castiel dies during the delivery. There’s an even higher chance that the baby burns to death with Castiel, and that’s not including the chance that you’ll die when he takes a part of your soul. You need to start realizing that you, Cas, your kid, could possibly not even be here when the day comes. You see how sick he is already, he might die before the time even comes.”

Dean swallowed thickly and his hands rested against the table, balled into tight fists. He shook his head as a single tear ran down his cheek. He looked back up at Sam and shook his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it, and I know I should, but I don’t. Because I don’t want the last memories I have of him to be wrapped in fear of the inevitable. We’re not going to acknowledge it’s a risk, because he needs that comfort.”He stood up and picked up the plate of crackers and bread he was carrying. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t starve to death.” Dean walked out of the room and wiped at his eyes.

Castiel was more than happy to see Dean again. He reached up to take a cold water from his hands and he took small sips. Dean sat down with the plate in his hands.

“It’s not much, but it should be easy on your stomach.”

Castiel took a piece of bread and took a small, hesitant bite before finally taking another and eating. Dean relaxed as he finally took in some food. He leaned back against the wall as he continued to eat, a hand kept over the light. Dean bit his lip, now noticing that the light was a bump on his chest, just a faint one, but still a bump. Castiel finished a piece of bread and looked up at Dean.

“Are you ready to be a father?”

He shook his head.

“No one really is, are they?”

Castiel shrugged.

“Gabriel was.”

“That’s Gabriel, though. He loves kids. The only experience with kids I’ve had was with Ben. I wasn’t a great father, but I was there for him.”

Castiel nodded and took Dean’s hand, pressing it against the light. He pulled his hand away with a wince, however.

“You’re burning, Cas. C’mon, let me get you cooled off before you get heatstroke.”

He stood him up and sat him on the toilet seat.

~

“Lebanon, Kansas city line. Gabriel, can you get any more sarcastic?”

“Nope, it’s a natural born talent.”

“I told you a ten mile diameter of a suburb, not the actual city lines.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“It’s warded for the ten miles, dumbass.”

Cadriel began to walk forward, but a force knocked her back and she hummed.

“Warding seems basic enough.”

She closed her eyes and began recanting a spell in Enochian. The invisible force began to glow, and it soon shattered like glass. She opened her eyes and took a few steps forward.

“Okay, a piece of warding is gone now. We should be okay to find the source of the warding if we follow the trail.”

Gabriel looked at the trail of glass that moved the line of the city bounds. He raised an eyebrow.

“You sure about that?”

“Positive, c’mon.”

~

Dean drew a cold bath, knowing with how hot Castiel was, it’d warm up in no time. He let out a small sigh and gently helped Castiel undress, leaving only his boxers on. The light was ever brightening, and Dean could see the outline of Castiel’s heart and lungs. He looked away and helped him into the tub. He turned off the tap and sat next to the bathtub, his hands rubbing together uncomfortably.

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

“What’s to happen.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean ran a hand through his hair.

“The risks we’re taking. I know about the chances we have, and they don’t look good. I could die, you and the baby could die. We’re literally defusing a nuke. We’re making plans for when it happens, and it’s not going to happen here.”

Castiel looked down.

“Where are we going to have him?”

“Bobby’s old place. It’s warded as well, I’ll go down and do some more warding like the files advise.”

Castiel nodded and placed his hand on his chest.

“Everything is going to be okay.”

“So, what are we going to name our kid?”

Castiel shrugged.

“I had the idea of naming him after someone important to you.”

“So what did you have in mind?”

Castiel shrugged again, before looking at Dean.

“Robert?”

“No.”

“John?”

“Hell no.”

“What do you want to name him?”

Dean looked at the ceiling to think for a bit.

“I want to name him-”

The lights in the bathroom went out. The emergency lights flared and a siren went off. Castiel gripped his ears as Angel Radio passed over them. His eyes went wide as the voices over Angel Radio came loud and clear.

_‘Follow the trail, see where it goes.’_

_‘You sure about that?’_

He let go of his ears and gasped in a breath.

“They’re after me.”

“Who’s they?”

“Task force, nephilim sector. I remember her, Cadriel. She was the one to warn me about the grace splits.”

The blaring alarm grew louder. Dean got up.

“Stay here, I’ll see what happened.”

~

Cadriel stopped in the middle of the trail, pressing two fingers to her temple.

“What now?”

“I may have found him, Gabriel.”

“How do you know this?”

“It’s really fuzzy, he’s in a heavily warded area, I’m not getting great reception. He’s ill, final stages of splitting.”

Gabriel pressed his fingers to his temple, and he could see an unclear image of Castiel sat in a room. He couldn’t tell where he was, who he was with, or what he was doing, but he could tell how sick he was. He looked at Cadriel.

“You think he’ll be okay when we find him?”

“Best wishes.”

~

Dean walked into the war room to see the map lit up brightly, with the word ‘BREACH’ glowing brightly. He watched Sam run around with a book in his hand, trying to find out what had happened. He slapped the book down.

“The perimeter warding was breached somehow. I don’t know by who or with what spell, but we don’t have the ingredients to put it back together. Is Cas safe?”

Dean looked at the spell that created the perimeter ward. Pure demon smoke, the grace of an angel, blood from an alpha werewolf, things they didn’t keep on the shelf.

“He should be safe for now. He said the nephilim trackers were coming for him. Heaven must know it was Cas.”

Sam nodded and closed the book.

“You want to take him to Bobby’s early? To be safe?”

“What’ll you do without me?”

“Get things ready.”

“Sam, he’s too sick to move right now.”

Sam stood up straight and walked over to the shelf he had taken the book off of. He found the Level III witchcraft book and placed it on the table.

“If we don’t move him, the trackers could break into the bunker.”

Dean glanced at the upstairs door and back to Sam.

“You better be right about this.”

~

Dean walked into the bathroom with a towel. Castiel was still sat in the water, which had gone warm now, and he whispered things in Enochian while soothing a hand over his chest. He looked up at Dean, who simply nodded. He helped Castiel up and out of the bathtub, wrapping the towel around his shoulders.

“We have a change of plans.”

~

Gabriel looked around the deserted road. Woods to his left, mountains to his right, he had no idea where Cadriel had led him to. The only sign of life he saw was a black car taking a drive towards the mountains, away from the woods. Cadriel looked at the piece of map she had left, the edges burnt around a small grid.

“According to this, we need to head towards the trees.”

“Are you sure that’s even accurate anymore?”

“Shut up, Gabriel.”

“Just saying.”

~

Castiel had spotted Cadriel and another angel on the side of the road, and he had grabbed Dean’s hand hard, fear setting over him, but once they were on the winding road that went through the mountains, he let go. He leaned back in his seat and let out a breath he’d been holding.

“You okay, Cas?”

“I’m okay now.”

“Everything will be okay when we get to Bobby’s.”

~

Three quick raps on the door made Sam jump. He pulled out his angel blade and moved his way cautiously up the stairs. Another three raps echoed in the room.

“Delivery!”

“I-I didn’t order anything!”

“Looking for Mr. Winchester. I got the kielbasa you ordered.”

Sam opened the door, and Gabriel leaned lazily against the frame, his signature smirk on his face.

“Hiya Sammy. Miss me?”

“Gabriel?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, a longer one coming soon.

The car ride to Bobby’s was silent, only broken up by the sound of the engine revving on the hills leading to South Dakota. Castiel had fallen back to sleep, his arms folded over his chest protectively. Dean was left to his thoughts again, and he started to think about baby names.

Robert Singer was Bobby’s real name, but they always called him Bobby, and that name was sacred to the boys. Dean had promised Sam that he could name his kids Robert, if he ever had kids. John was out of the question, the memory of his father was painful enough without having to have burdened his child with the name. He played around with other names as well that he’d heard over the years. Derek. Shane. Adam. Alex. Tom… A smile came over him. Tom. It was neutral enough to be played around with. He nodded and leaned back in against the seat, pulling off the highway into a rest stop where he could get some sleep.

~

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of a Sam Winchester alone, at home?”

Sam couldn’t help but stare at Gabriel.

“I… we thought you were dead.”

He plucked the sucker from between his lips and laughed.

“You were wrong, my amigo. I was in hiding. Did a little porn, gambled a little, and now I’m on a mission.”

Sam scoffed.

“What kind of mission?”

Gabriel leaned in and smirked.

“I need your help. I heard a nephilim had made its way to the Winchesters. Me and my underdog companion here are on the task force that destroys these kids. I’m not into the whole killing part, but we still need to enforce heavenly rules.”

Sam squinted his eyes at Gabriel and crossed his arms.

“And what makes you think we have a nephilim?”

“Cadriel said Castiel has it. Where’s Cas? I do miss my baby brother.”

“Not here.”

Gabriel grabbed Sam’s shirt and yanked him close.

“You listen here, you moose. You’re going to tell me where my brother is, or I’m gonna rip your lungs out through your ass.”

“Bite me.”

He pushed Gabriel off of him and leaned against the table.

“Let me try again one more time.”

He stepped forward and got up on his toes, his gaze intent on Sam.

“Where is my brother?”

“With mine.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“With yours.”

Gabriel groaned.

“C’mon! Sarcasm’s my thing!” 

~

**26 Days**

Castiel awoke to the car parked out behind Bobby’s cabin, Dean passed out between the door and the seat. His chest burned, as if someone had lit him on fire, and he was sweating profusely under his clothes. He pulled his trench coat off and tossed it over the seat, followed by his suit coat and his shirt. He kicked his shoes and socks off, so he was left in nothing but his slacks. He picked up a stray water bottle, wedged underneath his seat, and he drank what was left, a few spare drops of water making their way to his chest. Steam erupted from the protruding light, which fogged up the windshield. Castiel shook Dean gently to wake him up.

“Dean.”

“Mmph?”

Dean’s eyes cracked open before closing again.

“Dean.”

“‘M up. What’s wrong?”

Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand and placed it on his chest. He promptly pulled his hand away and pulled himself up.

“Let’s get you inside.”

~

He eased Castiel down and into the ice water, and he used a cup to begin running the water over the hot light on his chest. Steam began to rise as his skin cooled down. Dean sighed quietly.

“Does it hurt?”

Castiel shook his head.

“The pain will always be there, but the heat doesn’t hurt.”

Dean nodded and continued to run the cold water over him. Castiel shivered at the touch.

“Too cold?”

“No, it’s the change in temperature.”

Castiel had finally stopped sweating, and his skin was returning to its normal tan color. Dean hummed to him and placed a hand on his chest to check his temperature. He was still warm, but not as hot as he was in the car. He set the cup on the edge of the bath tub.

“How about you sit here until the water gets warm, and I’ll go let Sam know we’re here?”

Castiel nodded and laid back into the water, his head resting against the cool tile.

Dean got up and walked into the hallway, pulling his phone out to dial Sam.

~

Gabriel tapped the table impatiently as Sam read through the Angel catalogues one more time for any information he may have missed.

“Are you going to tell me anything useful or do I get to sit here and enjoy that pretty moose face of yours?”

Sam looked up from his book and shrugged.

“I don’t know, how about you make up your mind and leave me alone?”

Sam’s phone began to ring, and Gabriel picked it up.

“Samuel’s big barn of mules, head jackass speaking.”

Sam reached to take his phone away from Gabriel, who simply got up and walked towards the other side of the table.

“Hello to you, too, Dean. Nah, Sam’s okay. He’s reading a very riveting story about love and angels. Do you know where my brother is? You do? Can I talk to him? Thanks, Dean-o.”

Sam got up and tried to grab the phone away from Gabriel, only to be frozen in place.

“Great job, Gabriel.”

The woman’s voice came from behind him, and he turned his head to see a female angel walking up towards him. She smiled at Sam and shook his frozen hand.

“You must be Samuel Winchester. Cadriel, Heaven’s nephilim watch. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Gabriel’s face softened and he turned away from Sam and Cadriel.

“Hi, Cassie. Oh, I know, I know. You just gotta rest, okay? Remember what I told you? Rose water, yeah. Just sip some, it should help. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Bye.”

Gabriel hung up the phone and turned around.

“He’s still sick?”

Sam nodded.

“He wasn’t doing too good, and when the warding broke, we had to keep him safe.”

Cadriel unfroze Sam, who let out a sigh of relief.

“Where is Castiel?”

“With my brother.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“With Castiel.”

Cadriel backed Sam into the bookcase and grabbed his throat, choking him.

“Let’s try it again. Where is Castiel?!”

~

Castiel hung up the phone and set it on the edge of the bath tub with the cup. He smiled to himself. His brother was alive. He had believed Gabriel to be dead after the nephilim massacre, since he had disobeyed direct orders to slaughter thousands of infants and toddlers. But he was alive, he was okay, he was well.

He stood up and got out of the warm water, grabbing a towel from underneath the sink. He wrapped himself up and made his way to one of the bedrooms where him and Dean would be staying. He changed into a clean pair of boxers and laid back on the bed.

Dean went into the bathroom to check in on Castiel and he noticed he wasn’t there, but there was a trail of wet footsteps to his room, where he found Castiel in bed. Dean sighed and sat on the bed next to him.

“Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?”

“Rose water.”

“What?”

Castiel sat up.

“All you need to do is boil down some rose petals in holy water and add a little honey to it. Angels use it to get drunk most of the time, but in small quantities it has a pain relieving effect, like morphine to humans.”

He took Dean’s hand and smiled. Dean looked up into Castiel’s eyes and smiled back at him.

“Alright. I’ll make some. You get some rest, okay?”

Castiel nodded and let go of his hand, laying back into the bed and closing his eyes. Dean got up and left the bedroom, going out to find any roses around Bobby’s garden.  

He came back into the kitchen with an assortment of colors. He placed a pot on the stove and filled it with holy water, breaking off the petals and tossing them into the pot. The water began to steam and boil within a few minutes, tuning a bright pink color. He fished out the petals with a slotted spoon and poured the mixture into a large water bottle, adding a bit of honey to sweeten. He took a small bowl of it, grabbed a spoon, and went to the bedroom Castiel was in. He wasn’t asleep yet, nor was he wide awake when Dean spooned a little of the water into his mouth. Castiel swallowed and Dean could visibly see his muscles relax as the pain subsided. He set the bowl on the nightstand and climbed into bed with Castiel, staying on the other side of the bed.

He turned off the lamps, and was soon back to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance.

**20 Days**

They had been at Bobby’s a total of six days.

It was a nightmare.

Sam was constantly calling to check in on Castiel, who was back to the morning sickness, with the added symptoms of high fever, cramps, heartburn, and the weird food cravings. Dean was living with what could be as close to a pregnant angel as he could possibly get. But he couldn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he would, since Castiel was existentially sick. He spent most of his time doubled over the toilet and in ice baths to cool his body. Dean had to fight with Castiel to get him to drink any water or eat a few crackers. He wasn’t tan anymore, he was a sickly pale, and the protrusion on his chest was beginning to stretch and blister from the sheer heat and size of his grace. He was in constant pain, and the rose water was taking the edge off of it, but it wasn’t working as well as it did the first night.

And then there was the false alarms.

All Sam had told Dean was that right before it was to happen, Castiel would be in excruciating pain and the light would go out. It was hard to not panic when Castiel was doubled over in pain and the light would flicker and go out. The amount of preparation needed to put into the ritual forced Dean to focus on even minute details, so he had made sure the spell was prepared in advanced. At one point, Castiel passed out from the pain and nearly drowned himself in his ice bath when his face fell forward, and the light had gone out so suddenly Dean didn’t know whether or not to perform the ritual, but he woke up just as Dean lit the match.

Currently, Dean was repainting the sigils to keep the God Squad away from Bobby’s cabin. Castiel was asleep on the couch with an ice pack on his wrapped up chest. The ace bandage was to prevent more blisters from coming up on his skin. Dean hummed ‘Hey Jude’ to himself, finishing up the last sigil on the door. He set the paint can down and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. Castiel was like a damn space heater, the room undeniably warmer than it was in the night.

Within the quietness of the cabin, Dean had time to reflect on how far they had come. He grabbed a cold beer and sat back in a chair across from the couch, where he could keep an eye on Castiel. His thoughts drifted to their relationship and how far they had come. Being pulled out of Hell, with strong arms wrapped around him. A burned handprint was all he had to remember, and still today, whenever Cas laid a hand on his scar, he could feel the comfort it gave him. The many times he had lost Castiel, the many times he had protected the Winchesters from whatever evil was about to kill them, the many times he had done what he thought was right for them. He had slaughtered enemies, been tortured, been killed out of hate and because of his decisions. He sacrificed an entire army from Heaven for him.

A waking Castiel pulled him from his thoughts. The angel’s eyes slowly opened and he groaned at the sight of the ace bandage on his chest. He moved to sit up, but he hissed at the pain and laid back down. Dean took a swig of his beer and grabbed the bottle of rose water. He helped ease Castiel’s head up and he tipped a spoonful of water into his mouth. He swallowed and laid back, his hands resting on his chest.

“How you feeling today?”

Castiel pressed a hand to his forehead.

“Like I’m at war with my own body and I’m losing.”

Dean sat on the floor next to the couch and sighed.

“It’s gonna be okay. Sam’s sent the baby killers on a wild goose chase. They think Crowley’s hiding us out in Hell, since he did hide Amara for a few weeks.”

“You realize that one of these baby killers is my brother?”

“Aren’t they all related?”

“Gabriel raised me, may I remind you.”

Dean took another sip of his beer.

“You haven’t told us much about Gabriel.”

“My brother is a… quiet man.”

~

Crowley sat at the throne of the court, nursing a glass of finely aged scotch in his hand. He read over the clipboard that held his day’s agenda with the cases for Hell. He looked at the list annoyingly.

“Murder, murder, murder, gay?” He looked up at his servant. “You can’t be serious.”

“It may have been a mistake at the gate, sire.”

Crowley looked up and handed him the clipboard.

“I want to see that case first.”

The servant nodded and snapped his fingers. Two more servants came in, dragging a limp man into the high court. The two threw him onto the ground.

“Court is now in session.”

Crowley stood up and walked towards the man. He looked up quickly and smiled.

“Hey, ya old coot.”

Crowley squinted his eyes at the man before realization settled onto his face.

“Gabriel. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I think you know why, Crowley.”

Crowley went back and grabbed his drink.

“Court is adjourned. Everyone leave!”

The servants filed out of the room and Crowley was left with the archangel.

“So, what does a king of Hell do for fun around here? Torture innocents, hide nephilim?”

“Ah, I’ve heard about the nephilim. Whose is it?”

“I think you know very well who that is, since you seem to be hiding him.”

Crowley poured another glass and handed it to Gabriel, who took it willingly.

“After Amara, I don’t want to be hiding another unknown power.”

Gabriel set his glass down and raised an eyebrow at him.

“So, you’re telling me, you’re not butt buddies with Mr. Dean Winchester, and you’re definitely not hiding Castiel and his kid?”

Crowley let off a sarcastic laugh, doubling over and wiping a fake tear from his eye.

“You’re good, you’re really good, but no. If you want to talk to squirrel, just call him.”

“The warding is a problem.”

Crowley did a ‘come here’ motion with his finger and he showed Gabriel a spell being made in a vat.

“I’ve heard of those librarian Men of Letters, and this is something we’re making to beat those pesky wardings. The only problem we have is that we have to put the spell on the warding before it will work. I’ve already sold a little bit to a few of our angel allies, but I have no idea if it works.”

“Oh, it does.”

Cadriel stepped into the court and closed the door behind her.

She did a small, sarcastic curtsy to Crowley.

“So I assume you tested it?”

“I have, Gabriel can attest to that.”

Gabriel looked at Cadriel.

“That spell mumbo-jumbo? That was his?”

Cadriel crossed her arms.

“You can’t have too many friends in this line of work.”

Crowley smiled.

“Yes, and you can’t have too many souls in Hell. Thank you, by the way. They were quite deserving.”

Gabriel turned around to face Cadriel.

“You traded souls for a spell?”

She shrugged.

“If it rids Heaven of an abomination, what’s with a few drug addicts?”

~

Sam looked down at his long list of items. Diapers, wipes, formula, a car seat, a bed, bedding, a changing table, clothing, bottles, binkies, and a whole separate list of furniture and baby safe things to baby proof the bunker.

He walked into the store with his head held high. He was confident in his ability to shop for a baby, until he actually realized what he was actually seeing. Pregnant women were everywhere, some even towing their newborns and their siblings through the store. There was so many _choices_ for everything. He walked towards the clothing, and all he saw was tiny clothing in an assortment of colors and styles. There was a lot of pink, and not a lot of blue, but there was a lot of gender neutral clothing. He walked around, finding a lot of tiny hats, socks, and mittens. He went back to the front of the store to get a basket and went back into the clothing.

He picked up a lot of gender neutral clothing, scarcely picking out the boys clothing. He found himself throwing a lot of pairs of tiny socks into his basket before he finally told himself that thirty five pairs would be enough for the kid. He also picked up a few receiving blankets for when the day would come. He looked down to see a basket full of clothing, and he hadn’t even started on the rest of the list.

He made his way to the furniture displays and his eyes went wide. He didn’t realize how many choices he would have to make for Cas and Dean. There were three piece options, four piece options, and within the piece options, he had to pick the color, the style, if they wanted it to turn into a toddler bed. He felt overwhelmed by all of the choices he was looking at. Even the rockers had options, which he had no idea what a rocker even was. He was about to walk out of the store when one of the workers stopped him.

“Do you need help?”

She had an audible lisp, and Sam looked at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun, her nails painted the same color as her hair. She had piercing green eyes, the kind you can find your soul in. She pointed at her nametag.

“My name is Eileen.”

Sam swallowed and shook her hand.

“Sam Winchester. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay. First time for everyone.”

~

After lunch, Dean had Castiel back in an ice bath, a cold washcloth on his forehead and the back of his neck. He adjusted Castiel’s position so he was more comfortable and he sat back on the ground, humming ‘Hey Jude’ again. Castiel spoke up, which made Dean stop.

“How do you want our baby to look?”

“What do you mean?”

He sat up straighter in the bathtub and held onto the sides.

“Do you want him to have black hair like me, or brown hair like you? Blue or green eyes? Freckles, no freckles?”

Dean shook his head.

“I don’t care how he looks, I just want you both to be alive and healthy after this is done.”

Castiel laid back into the water and closed his eyes.

“If I die, will you make sure he knows that I love him?”

Dean looked back to Castiel again.

“I won’t, because I know you’re not gonna die. You told me you wouldn’t.”

“Just in case, you know there’s always a chance.”

“I’m not gonna think about that. Because the father of my child is going to be around long enough to see him off to college.”

“That’s a nice thought. Let’s be realistic: I have a ninety-nine percent chance of burning alive, and a one percent chance I live to even see the face of my child.”

“You know I’ve always believed in that one percent.”

Castiel chuckled weakly.

“You have a way with words, Dean.”

“Why do you think they call me smooth operator?”

Castiel’s hand flew to his chest and he let out a small burp.

“Heartburn.”

Dean felt the water and sighed.

“It’s time to get out any way, the water’s gone warm.”

He helped Castiel out and into a towel, helping him back to the bedroom.

~

Crowley snapped his fingers and a servant came in.

“Ruthie, if you would be so kind as to show our guests out, that would be great.”

She nodded and motioned towards the door.

Crowley stopped them.

“Great business, feathers. If you need anything else, you know where to send the souls.”

Cadriel and Gabriel left without another word.

~

They reached Cadriel’s car and Gabriel raised a finger.

“One moment.”

He turned towards the side of the road and emptied the contents of his stomach. He spit to rid his mouth of the vile taste and he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He turned around and looked at Cadriel.

“How far has Heaven fallen to even allow angels to trade souls?”

“Hey, Adriel told me to do whatever it took to eliminate the threat. If it means I send some deserving souls to Hell for a spell to finish the job, then so be it.”

Gabriel ripped open a sucker and put it in his mouth, the sugar helping with the taste in his mouth.

“You know what, Cadriel? This is insane! I can’t stand this anymore! I quit.”

She looked at him with such a fury in her eyes it made him take a step back.

“You can’t quit. You understand I’ll have to kill you.”

“You are sending souls down to Hell for a damn spell we could get the ingredients for!”

“Crowley had it already done, already tested and accounted for, and he has ingredients we can’t get without demon help.”

“Fuck you, Cadriel. I’m done!”

He turned around to walk away, and Cadriel dropped her blade from her sleeve.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me. You know what I have to do.”

Gabriel turned around and threw his middle finger in the air.

“You have a choice to kill me or not. Make the right one.”

He turned around and continued to walk. Cadriel took four long strides until she was behind him.

“I’m making a choice for Heaven.”

~

Sam looked at his diminishing list. Eileen had truly helped him with a lot of the list, helping him choose furniture that matched the bunker’s wood, finding the proper diaper size and which brand was cheaper and better quality, the right formula for sensitive newborn stomachs, the right bottle to prevent nights of colic, and small baby things to make their lives a little easier.

By the end of the trip, Sam had a little over seven bags full of items, and he knew he had to pack a bag and drive most of the stuff back to Bobby’s, plus he had to put the furniture together without Castiel or Dean’s help, which seemed simple enough until he saw most of the new owner’s manuals for all of the furniture. He had even picked up a baby safe wall paint for the kid’s bedroom. He had opted for a mostly neutral color of pale green, but he also had a bucket of blue paint in case Dean liked the other color. Eileen rang him up, and he paid with one of the fake credit cards they signed up for, having paid for the furniture with the other. The furniture was to be delivered to a location outside the bunker so he didn’t have to make the half hour car ride back to the store. Eileen handed Sam his receipt.

“Thank you for all your help. I’m gonna be an uncle soon, and I have no clue what I’m doing. You seem to know a lot about kids.”

Eileen blushed and looked away.

“It’s a part of the job. I want kids, I just don’t think right now is the right time. I still need to find the right person.”

Sam nodded.

“I get it. Thank you, though.”

He waved and began to walk away, when he noticed some ink bleeding through the thin paper of his receipt. A phone number was written on the back with the words ‘text me! -Eileen.’ He smiled and walked out to his car, blushing like a little girl.

~

“C’mon, Cas, you _gotta_ eat something.”

“I told you, I’m not hungry.”

An audible protest from his stomach echoed in the room.

“Have I ever told you that you suck at lying?”

“All the time, leave me alone.”

Dean sighed and set the bowl of soup on the nightstand.

“How about this, if you have some soup, I’ll give you a little more rose water than before. It’ll take your mind off the pain, and you can’t starve yourself just because you have nausea.”

Castiel eyed the bowl and sighed. He sat up a bit more and Dean sighed. He picked the bowl up and spooned a bit of broth into his mouth. He swallowed hastily and he hummed.

“Whose recipe?”

“Bobby’s. He used to make it for me and Sam when we were little. The ginger is supposed to help with the nausea.”

He helped Castiel take a few more spoonfuls. Castiel finished what Dean gave him, then he put his hand up to say ‘no more.’ Dean set the bowl down and picked up the bottle of rose water, giving him two spoons instead of one. He relaxed into the bed and hummed softly.

“Lay with me?”

Dean gave him a small smile and set everything to the side. He laid down on the bed next to Castiel and he just looked at him, trying to memorize his face. The wrinkles by his eyes, the barely noticeable dust of freckles on his nose, the deep blue of his eyes, the soft raven hair that was currently matted and sticking in every direction possible. He looked down to Castiel’s bare chest, where his grace was a dull glow, as if in rest or asleep, giving Castiel a break with the constant pain.

“Why did you choose me?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Why did you save me?”

Castiel sat up on one of his arms.

“I saved you because God commanded it. I’ve already told you this.”

“When did you know we had a bond?”

“The minute you told me I should’ve left you in Hell.”

Dean nodded and laid back against the bed.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? You’ve had a rough day.”

~

Cadriel wiped the blood off her blade with the lower part of her shirt. She looked down at her handy work, a perfect shot through the heart, and nodded to herself. She turned around and walked back to the car, a piece of burnt paper with the word ‘Dakota’ on it. She pulled a lollipop in her mouth and sped off towards the highway.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shortie

**5 Days**

The stuff Sam had driven up to Bobby’s made Dean quite uncomfortable. It was really happening. They would have a baby within the next few days, and they would be able to see him, hold him, name him.

Castiel was hunched over on the couch, pulled into the fetal position. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers, which were darkened with sweat. He never stopped sweating, the immense heat keeping his skin flushed red. The ice baths stopped helping, the water getting too warm before any relief could come to him. He stopped eating altogether, he only drank ice water and what few spoonfuls of soup Dean could get into him. His nausea and heartburn stopped, but he was in too much pain to celebrate. The glow of his grace was an orange color now, the tumor on his chest had finally stopped growing, now large enough to be cut into for the ritual. Castiel shuddered as another wave of pain came over him, and he clamped his hands to his stomach, his knuckles turning white.

Dean couldn’t do anything to help him. The rose water was now just an annoyance, only offering minor relief to the blisters and stretch marks around his chest. He sat in the chair across from Castiel, folding the freshly washed baby clothing and placing it into a basket.

Sam had brought him the car seat, a few receiving blankets, enough pairs of socks to last them through the next apocalypse, a few pairs of mittens, and the beanie Cas had given him for Christmas. The shoes would have to wait until he had big enough feet for them. Castiel let out another groan and he squeezed his stomach.

“M-make it stop, please,” he pleaded with Dean.

A pop and sizzle made Dean jump up.

The first warding on the door had burned out.

He quickly grabbed the bucket of paint and began to repaint the first one on the door.

Another crack and sizzle.

He turned around.

One of the sigils on the window had burnt out, leaving the window cracked.

He went to the window and began to repaint the sigil.

A few more pops, and the rest of the front door sigils burned out.

Dean ran around frantically, trying to repaint as many sigils as he could. A loud ‘BOOM!’ made him look over at Castiel.

The sigil on the ceiling burned out. Castiel covered his head as pieces of ceiling dust fell on him.

Dean stopped and watched in horror as the sigils burned out, either in groups or one by one. He shoved as much of what Sam brought into the basket with the folded clothing, and he grabbed his angel blade.

“I’ll be back, okay?”

He ran out to the garage, where the car was parked, and he shoved the basket into the trunk. He came back and leaned down, easing one of Castiel’s arms around his shoulders. He wrapped his own arm around Castiel and pulled him to his feet. Sparks flew as the lamp beside the couch exploded, and the last sigil burned out. The door fell over, and Cadriel walked in, her blade drawn and ready.

“Oh, dear brother. How the mighty have fallen.”

Dean set Castiel down in a chair next to the doorway to the garage, his own blade drawn.

“You must be the baby killer.”

“And you must be the other half of that abomination’s soul.”

Cadriel squinted at Dean, her eyes glowing bright blue. She blinked and her eyes went back to normal.

“What did you do?”

“You are. Castiel marked you.”

He looked back to Castiel, who was holding his head between his legs.

“He marked you the second he pulled you from Hell!”

Dean raised his hands.

“Listen, lady, I’m sure there’s a way we can work this out.”

“There is. Hand Castiel over, let him come quietly. I’ll cut out the grace, and he’ll be on his merry way with you.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Really? The last person who told me that was stabbed in the heart. By the way, Castiel, your brother’s last words were that he’s sorry he didn’t get to you sooner.”

Castiel looked up, his eyes glowing bright blue.

“You leave Gabriel out of this!”

He got up and took a few steps, spreading his wings, which were dropping feathers due to his malnourishment. Cadriel’s eyes glowed brighter than his, and her wings were full and double the size of Castiel’s.

“You dare threaten an archangel chosen by father to rid the Earth of all nephilim?”

“I will threaten anyone who dares touch the grandchild of our father.”

Cadriel drew her blade and clashed with Dean’s. Castiel sank back into the chair, the light flickering now.

Dean jumped back to miss a blow to his stomach, and he kicked her to the side. Cadriel jumped back up and her fist connected with his shoulder. An audible popping sound came, and he grabbed his shoulder. He changed hands with the blade and he came after her again. Castiel got up shakily and slowly made his way out of the room.

Dean sliced at Cadriel’s arm, which made a shallow cut. He began to recount a spell in Enochian, and she froze. He grabbed his keys and ran out to the car, where Castiel was getting into the front seat. He helped him in and jumped into the car. He drove off back towards the bunker, the fear of what had just happened in the back of his mind.

~

Sam looked down at his phone. Three missed calls, twelve texts, and a very lengthy message from Castiel. He pressed the redial button and called Dean, who answered by screaming incoherently at Sam.

“Dean, slow down.”

“We were almost killed, thank you very much! Why the fuck is the God squad trying to kill us? I thought you took care of it!”

“I sent them to Crowley! How is that not taking care of it?”

“She’s got a powerful spell to break the wardings.”

“Good to hear you, Cas.”

“Shut it, Sam. He’s barely holding on. We’re gonna get there, and you’re gonna get the hell out of there. He’s getting close to the time.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Get as far away as possible. It’ll be as if a nuclear bomb went off. There’s gonna be earthquakes and devastation for at least ten miles around the bunker.”

He took Castiel’s warning to heart.

“Alright. Just get here safe.”

~

**4 Days**

The boys got there at 5 am the next morning, Dean only taking a thirty minute nap in between states. Sam was building the rocking chair for the baby’s nursery when Dean came in, half carrying Castiel. He set him down in a chair and he looked at Sam.

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s a rocking chair, Dean.”

“You gotta be kidding me. Seriously?”

Sam set his screwdriver down and sighed.

“You know babies liked to be rocked to sleep. This is so your arms get a break.”

He turned back, intently screwing in a piece. Dean walked over and took the tools from Sam.

“I’ll do it, okay? You need to get out of here. Castiel’s gonna pop anytime, and I don’t want you anywhere near that sight.”

Sam nodded.

“Go check out the nursery before it happens. Let Castiel see what’s ready for the baby.”

~

Cadriel groaned. She moved one finger, then another, and another. She rolled her wrist, and soon she could move her upper body. She fell to the ground, holding her arm. Blood seeped out and she sighed.

The house began to rumble and shake, antiques on the shelf falling and breaking, the windows burst open. Three angels stood above Cadriel.

“Cadriel, daughter of God, sister to Castiel, Gabriel, and the many angelic nephilim you have murdered, you are under arrest for the attempted assassination of the Holy Lord’s grandson.”

Two of the angels picked her up and the angel that was speaking grabbed her face.

“Heed this warning: yourself, Adriel, and all other factions in the war against angel kind and their children will suffer.”

In a snap, they were gone, but a lone angel stood in the background, his blade still in hand. He walked over to the couch where Castiel had laid, and he placed his hand on the couch. His eyes rolled back into his head, but he couldn’t get a clear picture of where Castiel was. He blinked and picked up the bottle of rose water left on the table.

~

Dean set the rocking chair down in the corner of the nursery, and he had to give Sam props.

The nursery was a nice pale green color, the furniture a dark mahogany color to match the rest of the furniture in the bunker. There was a baby bed against the wall to the left of the doorway with jungle animal bedding, a changing table right across from the bed, a dresser with the rest of the clothing that he didn’t bring Dean, and now the rocking chair was resting in the right corner of the room. A soft glow emitted from the lamp on one of the refurbished night stands, which held the hoards of diapers they were going to need.

Dean knew that the kitchen had the bottles, formula, and bottle sanitizer.

Castiel was in bed across the hall. Dean didn’t want him to strain himself too much, and he knew how weak he was after the confrontation with Cadriel.

He walked in to Castiel in a fitful sleep. He stripped down to his briefs and he climbed into bed, already feeling how hot the sheets were.

“A few more days, a few more days.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you've been waiting for

**3 Days**

Their odds were beyond scary at this point. Castiel was hunched over in bed, curled into himself. He refused to eat, he refused to drink anything, and he refused any and all of Dean’s attempts to make him better. Dean could only watch as Castiel seemed to wither under stress and pain. Dean had to call in a favor from a friend, who came out to check up on Castiel. The doctor could only make an attempt to get an IV line going, which Castiel fought against.

**2 Days**

Castiel leaned back against the headboard of the bed, his hands resting on the bump on his chest.

“Thomas.”

Dean looked up.

“What?”

“His name. Thomas.”

“Thomas? Why Thomas?”

“Of all the names in the known universe, including angelic names, Thomas suits the child. What are you thinking?”

Dean shrugged and sat back, his hand moving to rest on Castiel’s fever-flushed arm.

“Well, it wouldn’t be my first pick, but as long as you’re happy with it, that’s great.”

Castiel nodded and laid back, and Dean pulled him back up.

“No, no, Cas, you need to drink something. You’re gonna dehydrate yourself, and you could be putting the baby in danger.”

Castiel pushed away Dean’s attempt to give him a sip of water.

“Do you want me to get the doctor to put in another line?”

“No, Dean, just stop, okay?”

Castiel pushed Dean away and stood up quickly, having to catch himself before he fell over. He left the room on unsteady feet, with Dean staring after him. He set down the water and got up, following Castiel to the restroom. The door was shut, and Dean could hear the shower running.

He stepped away to pick up a towel for Castiel, and a loud thud came from inside the room.

He went back and opened the door, to see Castiel on the ground, a small trickle of blood coming from his mouth.

~

“Cas?”

Mumble, it sounded like a mumble. He tried to open his eyes, but they closed immediately.

“Cas, wake up.”

A stinging pain on his cheek, the same mumble coming back again. He tried to open his eyes and they closed.

“Cas, c’mon. One more time.”

That pain, the mumble, and he finally opened his eyes. He saw green first, he thought he was in Heaven. He blinked and his eyes focused on two green eyes in front of him. He let out a smile before trying to sit up. Dean put a hand on his shoulder.

“Whoa, Cas, relax. You fell kinda hard.”

A searing pain shot through his chest and the light flickered out. His back lifted off of the ground and an ear piercing scream ripped out of his mouth. Dean grabbed his ears and fell back, his eyes wide with fear. It was happening. It was really happening. Castiel gasped in a breath and his eyes went wide again. Dean scrambled up and he ran into the library, grabbing the spell ingredients and the bowl. He came back into the bathroom with everything he needed for the ritual, and he grabbed a knife to begin the ritual. Another bout of pain ripped through Castiel’s chest, and he grabbed Dean’s arm this time, his fingers leaving bruises in their wake. He let go as the pain passed, and Dean moved so Castiel could squeeze his hand instead.

“It’ll be over soon, I promise. I just need you to hold on.”

Dean began to put the spell together, a pinch of this, a lot of that. He sliced his arm and let the blood drip into the bowl, and he pricked Castiel’s finger to let a drop of his blood into the bowl. He recited a few lines of Latin, and Castiel began to recite Enochian proverbs to help him deal with the pain. Dean took the knife and hesitated as he held it over Castiel’s chest.

“Cas, this is gonna hurt.”

Castiel continued to spout Enochian, not even acknowledging Dean.

He placed the tip of the blade on his chest, and cut a line down the length of the bump on his chest, opening the bump and letting his grace flow out. The heat was intense already, Dean wiping the sweat that dewed on his forehead. Castiel stopped chanting, and he looked at Dean, his eyes threatening to roll back. Dean took Castiel’s hand and placed it on his chest.

“C’mon, Cas. You need to do this part.”

His hand began to sink into his chest to touch his soul, and Dean couldn’t help but let out a scream of his own. It felt like his flesh was melting into the hand. He could feel the immense heat of his soul with the heat of the grace, and Castiel pulled his hand out, a small piece of his soul coming with it. Castiel collapsed against the tile.

Dean lit a match and dropped it into the bowl, which erupted into the flames.

A flash of white hot light flared through the bunker, and Dean fell back against the tile as well. The heat burned at his exposed skin, the wind pushing at his loose clothing.

~

Sam was two states over by the time the earthquake came. A few minor shakes had him diving for the rickety table in his motel room. The room shook for a few seconds before letting up and he got up, sending a quick text to Dean. A few minutes later, a rush of wind whined against the windows.

~

The heat was gone. The light was gone. The flame in the bowl died out, and Dean’s cut was healed. He got up from where he was, and he looked around. Castiel was still on the ground, the cut in his chest healed into a bright pink scar. A light was fading, and Dean moved to kneel by Castiel.

The light completely faded, and left in it’s wake was a tiny, naked baby with a shock of jet black hair on his head. Dean’s eyes softened and he slowly and gently lifted the warm baby into his arms. Jet black hair, a soft dusting of freckles on his face, with a tiny button nose just like Castiel’s. His lips, however, were blue. Dean’s heart sunk and he began to pat the baby on his leg, trying to get him to wake up. “Thomas, sweetie, wake up.” The baby didn’t wake up for a few minutes, then his lips turned pink and his eyes crinkled up. A tiny cry came through and echoed in the bathroom. Dean let out a sigh of relief and he rocked the baby gently. He looked over at Castiel, who wasn’t breathing. He looked down to the baby and back to Castiel. He got up and went to the nursery, dressing up the baby in a diaper and a onesie. He laid Thomas down in the bed and he went back to the bathroom.

“Cas?” He slapped him and hissed, his hand burning at the slightest touch of his skin. “Cas, you gotta wake up.” He went to get a washcloth and ran it under the cold water, placing it on his forehead. The cloth grew warm quickly, and he kept trying to cool Castiel off. “Cas, you gotta wake up. Thomas, he’s beautiful. He looks so much like you.”

A sense of panic began to set in as Castiel didn’t respond to his pleas. He began CPR, ignoring his burning hands. The tears flowed freely as he counted his compressions and breaths. He pulled away to cool his hands before returning again, even landing a few punches to his chest to try to kickstart his heart.

A rush of air and a flurry of wings alerted Dean to the presence of another angel, and he picked up the knife, turning around to be confronted by Balthazar.

“Jesus fuck, you scared me.”

“I was told a nephilim was coming to be. I didn’t know it was a Winchester’s.” He glanced over Dean and his eyes laid on Castiel. He came to his side and kneeled beside Castiel’s lifeless form. “Oh, no, no, Cassie." Balthazar touched him before hissing and pulling his hand away.

“He’s been like this since Thomas was born.”

Balthazar rubbed his hands together and pressed two fingers to his forehead with one hand and two fingers to his chest with the other.

“Cassie, wake up.” His hands glowed blue in an effort to cool him off, and the yellow light of healing grace flowed through his veins. “C’mon, Cassie, we need you. Thomas needs you.”

Balthazar backed up after a few minutes of attempting to resurrect Castiel.

Broken, choked out sobs were now coming from Dean’s mouth. For the first time since he believed Sam to be dead all those years ago, he openly wept for the loss of Castiel. His baby was alive, which was one of the good outcomes, but he never fully expected to lose Castiel.

Balthazar sat back on his heels, his mind reeling from the situation he came into. He was an uncle again, to the child of a brother he and Gabriel had raised. He had lost Gabriel not even a few days prior, and now he lost Castiel.

Dean clung onto Castiel’s hand, almost as to will him to come back.

Castiel’s cheeks quickly became a rosy color, and he gasped in a breath. He coughed hard, scarring Dean and Balthazar for a moment, but Dean smiled and held his hand.

“Cas, oh my god, Cas.”

“Where am I?”

“Cassie, it’s alright, I’m here.”

Castiel sat up with Dean’s help, his free hand moving to his chest.

“Thomas, where’s Thomas?”

“He’s in his bed right now, I was more worried about you.”

Castiel nodded and Dean and Balthazar helped him to his feet.

“You want to get dressed before I bring him?”

Balthazar walked with Castiel to their room, and Dean went into the nursery to get Thomas. He swaddled him up in a receiving blanket and picked him up, cradling the baby closely to his chest. He went into their room, where Castiel was settled in bed in a shirt and boxers. His eyes lit up as Dean brought their baby over. He laid the little bundle in Castiel’s arms, and the baby’s eyes opened. Little grey eyes stared up at Castiel, a tiny hand gripping one of his fingers.

Balthazar smiled down at the child and looked to Dean.

“You’ll make a great father, Dean.”


End file.
